saying and doing nothing feels a bit like pulling up the ladder behind me
I think I understand where you're coming from, but if you can let go of having the guard up against the very real barrage of criticism you have to face as you dive deeper into deconstructing masculinity, you can still try to provide the safe space you wish you had on your journey. It's not a matter of silencing yourself, it's more like: understanding where that friction is coming from, then learning how to plow through and still develop oneself with the constructive feedback, then being there for others you recognize could use a gentler nudge towards a better path.
Rest nicely and be safe out there.