For once, I think The Onion has aimed for parody but hit reality instead. I know two people who study geology and they absolutely do have their favourite rocks.

Got me. For just a moment I was excited for him and his beloved rock.

Geology rocks, but geography is where it's at

I lost track of a petite blanche natural Belgian for some years, I know how he feels.

My mom had a rock collection. There was one big rock that was purpleish with white streaks through it. I remember going through her collection just to pull that rock out. Id be stoked if i came across it again.

Idk why but all I’m thinking is that if this was the premise of a skit only Paul Rudd could play it convincingly

Sorry but The Onion can't compete with the real news anymore.