...never went to Epstein island while he was alive

Can list off starship classes from multiple science fiction franchises.

Not a Republican, Russian, Israeli or billionaire.

Increased shareholder value

'm not in the Epstein files

Do laundry every week

…have finally stopped trying to finish people’s sentences.

'm somewhat handy around the house

gonna let my autocomplete take this one

Maybe I'm not perfect, but at least I have a kw gris tie now you have to use it

What the fuck is this?

..at least I have two wolves inside of me.

Get me an ambulance.

Put the laundry machine running before heading to sleep

… am reading random stuff and not really doing anything productive

... eat ass.

Ain't chicken.

  -Leeroy Jenkins 

Have a nice butt

trails off and stares into space for about 3 seconds before quickly changing the subject

Stopped trying

Or am I? Did I remember to take that? 🤔

...never said I was.

Put the Tupperware lid on the side where it's dry so that it doesn't get moldy after neglecting to wash dishes for several months...... Just kidding, I put it in the sink where I will wash it later.

make myself laugh

Get to meow online at other catgirls :3

...don't quote AI like it is smarter than me.

Have a crap ton of hobbies I’m decently good at

fuck.

(Too bad its not true anymore)

Forced myself to socialize.

Use Lemmy.

'm a Jack of all trades, and a Master of a few.

Fuckin' ADD.

have a great ass.

Can suck off 5 guys

Forced myself to shower

… learn from my mistakes.

Maybe I'm not perfect, but at least when I'm done grocery shopping, I bring the cart back to where it belongs and don't just leave it wherever I please - like in the middle of a parking lot. That really gets my goat. (Just make an effort to be courteous, considerate, and kind to others!!! It is not that hard!!! Argh!!!)

Don’t eat corpses

Ain't dead yet

'm fabulous.