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[–] 142 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it's more than 6, but is Christian?

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    [–] 121 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Yay! More small government and freedom!

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    [–] 99 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.

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  • [–] 90 points 2 years ago (14 children)

    Hypocrites! They do this tomfoolery but make classrooms hang up the approved lord and savior:

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    [–] 75 points 2 years ago (17 children)

    I don't know how to make a quote line but this one stood out to me and made me laugh.

    "Parents do not consent to their children being exposed to obscene devices while shopping for toothpaste."

    What stores sell toothpaste next to adult toys?

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  • [–] 70 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    My local supermarket has sex toys on upper shelves in the family planning section, which is in the healthcare department. They don't look like dongs, so people shouldn't recognize what they are unless they know about them already. But kids might still ask their parents what that is on the shelf, and that is apparently worse than school shootings.

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    [–] 63 points 2 years ago* (4 children)

    Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!

    How were they enforcing this?

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    [–] 62 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Yes. Texas bans the possession of or promoting use of more than six dildos.

    It does make exceptions for people who have the multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.

    Lmao. Police officers can legally use an array of didos for 'law enforcement'.

    You'll be arrested if you cheer them on for it tho...

    BUT if you can prove it's medically necessary; you're welcome to have a cornucopia of rubber cocks.

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    [–] 57 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?

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  • [–] 55 points 2 years ago

    *trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*

    The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.

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  • [+] 53 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 53 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    How...how are they enforcing this?

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    [–] 44 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.

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  • [–] 39 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    This has very strong “If I can’t make my wife come, nobody will cum come!” vibes.

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  • [–] 35 points 2 years ago

    The One Star State is at it again. "Freedom" there is not really a thing since the government obviously owns the citizens.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago

    There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.

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  • [–] 31 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Will United Healthcare cover dildos if they are for medicinal purposes?

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    [–] 30 points 2 years ago

    Sounds like the government wants to hoard most of the dildos to go fuck themselves. 🍆

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.

    The worst part about this is that I'd rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.

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    [–] 27 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Rofl, they were afraid for their right to bear arms instead of their right to bear dildos.

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    [–] 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.

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    [–] 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    Neo-puritanism needs to die. I'm getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We're done with this shit.

    At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone's sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.

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    [–] 23 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    So... are there like, auditors? Does the government pay someone to go around and inventory peoples' sex toys? Do you have to register your devices? Are they serialized? Do you have to report them on your state tax return?

    Who are these people whackjobs that spend so much time thinking about what other people are doing in their bedrooms?

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    [–] 22 points 2 years ago

    Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she's very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State... it's CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠

    #SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)

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  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.

    ...They would never interfere with libraries, right?

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    [–] 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

    Besides banning the sale of sex toys, the Texas Obscenity Statute also specified the number of “obscene devices”—for example, dildos—a person could own: six. The number was not chosen at random, but rather because lawmakers assumed that people who owned more than six obscene devices that were identical or similar had the intent to distribute them.

    Theoretically, it should be possible to have more than six obscene devices without by guilty of intending to supply them - cock ring, butt plug, fleshlight, dildo, strap-on, inflatable sheep, Ben Wa balls, nipple clamps and penis cage. All have different uses, all without intending to supply.

    If supply was the concern (although I don't know why), perhaps criminalise that not the bottom drawer of my bedside table.

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    [–] 20 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn't seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.

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