You're not that far off, really.

Reinventing HydroHomies from first principles.

I've read a lot of Oglaf and this is easily in the top ten most upsetting.

That may have been near the back door, so you could give your feet a quick wipe when you came in.

This cat

LOVED tum rubs. When we got her she would roll over and I was convinced it was a trap. It was not. She loved it.

"Eye contact"

I thought we were Humans from Hume.

On the gripping hand...

Same reason why Jean-Luc Picard doesn't have a French accent.

First Blood: War is horrible. War destroys people's minds, bodies, and souls. War spawns never-ending cycles of trauma and violence. Don't do war.

Every Subsequent Rambo Movie: FUCK YEAH, WAR, ARROOOO!!! 💥💥🧨🧨💪🏻💪🏻

See also: Rocky

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Some of the best episodes are based on batshit insane premises.

The canon police: