I have been really struggling with my health at the moment, more than usual, with my autoimmune disease. Yesterday my specialist mentioned there is a possibility that I have a very serious side effect of my autoimmune disease. This is the sort of serious complication that has a 5-year mortality of 30-50%, so it is pretty nasty. It is about as bad as it gets with this particular disease. Now I have to go off for further tests and wait about a month to hear. I am trying not to overthink, but then also, surely they wouldn't have bought up something so nasty unless they were fairly certain, right? I really don't know what to think about it all, and since I have decided to keep it to myself unless it's confirmed, I am going to vent to you guys.

It is the equinox today and boy the darker evenings are getting noticeable.

Finally got some musical inspiration back!!!! It's been over 3 months since I've written anything. Fuck it feels good!

To briefly bitch:

What the fuck is the point of paying for delivery if it's going to end up at a storage facility that's only open during office hours.

Fuck off Team Global Express and JB Hi-Fi. Not worth the $15 extra I paid for delivery. Was already having a really shite day.

Just threw two couches out at the tip. No one wanted them :( tried to donate but no go.

Have to say everyone there was a middle aged bloke taking all their aggression out on throwing inanimate objects into the pit was hilarious.

For me it was the end of an era. The amount of times I parked my arse on those things.. ate, spilled food, wine, all the movies, the discussions had good and bad, .. almost had me teary.

RIP two couches :( I will never forget you.

I've been listening to these "true story" YouTube channels lately.

Just general tales of dangerous or weird situations people have been through.

A few days after I started, I realised something and felt very stupid for not thinking of it earlier:

What counts as danger for a woman is completely different than what I would consider danger. Situations that I would consider a nuisance can be life or death for a woman. Something as simple as a weird looking guy walking up to chat to me can turn into utter chaos for a woman.

It's opened my eyes in a really big way, and like I said, I feel dumb as fuck for not thinking about it sooner.

Have to get up really fkn early tomorrow, to start my trial shift at 8am.

I have to catch the tram at approx 6.20am. 😱 least it's only 4 hours and not a full day lol.

If they accept me, I'll be asking for Arvo shifts for sure.

Was lucky enough to get the first place we applied for (and I know we are very, very lucky in that regard!!), but now begins the moving process which I hate so much. This will be my 8th move in 12 years and I haven't learned to stress less during it. Coupled with this being the busiest time of year at work, I might just be a total idiot. But the place is cute and I'm excited!

So disappointed at the lack of rain. Grrr. Feels like everything has stayed grimy and dusty.

Gotta haul myself outta bed. Cmon now...

I have just realised my car is now 18 years old. Does that mean it is eligible to get its own driver's license and become a self-driving car?

Just looked at tonight's low temp - and for the next week. Time to put the doona back on the bed after summer I think.

Dear lord today was inteeeense but really good progress and feeling so ecstatic that I can blast through a lot in two days and then... Pack it up and put it away until next week. Realistically this position probably needs 3 days a week but I'm so glad it won't ever be full time - so I have much more manageable expectations. No need to take any of it home, no need to feel fully invested in it. Go in, punch out what's needed, maybe make some process improvements, go home. And SUCH a drastic difference in team and management support compared to my old job! Now to follow up on some leads for casual work on the other three days...

I seriously need to figure out a budget for a car though, getting there and back by PT let alone bike is a nightmare, 500x easier by car.

wow sugar soap really works

Changing my sleep cycle for the new job. Damn you circadian rhythm and making me feel like shit 😔

There was a young guy asleep out on the entrance to my building. I went in to get some money for him and when I got back he was gone, his blankets and , weirdly, a bag with half a doz jars of expensive honey are left behind.

It's strange and sad.

Well that was a rapid transition to Autumn. Might have to swap to winter doona next time I do the sheets.

Nighty night.

Wasted hours turn into days but all is not lost,
Make your decisions and pay the cost:
The price of admission to a worthy life,
Is just to exist despite all the strife.

The world may be ending but yours is not,
You have more to give than what you got.
Keep your chin up and all will work out,
Stay focused and dismiss all your doubt.

I shal now proceed to waste at least 2 hours of useful work day on OHS courses that amount to: Use your knees, and Don’t drink the dish liquid.

Another day, another unpaid toll sms. These spam texts drive me nuts. I’ve blocked so many numbers but it’s futile.

Movie review.

Do you love fast cars? Do you love men? Do you love daring men geniuses who love fast cars?

If you do then Ford vs Ferrari is pure porn.

I give this 5 hobbits . I'll be watching it again.

Who decides it's the International Day of (thing)? Not disputing it, just suddenly curious. My zoo calendar regularly says stuff like it's the International Day of the (fauna) and I wonder who decides it.