Maybe it's a location/age thing, but I missed out on all that. I always made it clear up front what I wanted, and they'd often indicate they're on board initially - until things got serious or an opportunity actually presented itself, then the insecurities came out and suddenly it's all "Am I not enough for you!?"

In the latest case she really had me convinced, even though an opportunity never arose to put it to the test. Told me she was bi, said she wanted to see me with other women, said she was cool with an open marriage - everything I wanted to hear. It was only after marriage & kids that it became apparent she was NOT actually ok with it.

Funny that you're having the opposite problem. Grass is always greener...

It's a thing but you have waaay more opportunities if you're a gay man, at least if you're somewhere with a decent population on Grindr!

You joke but as an overworked trades guy who recently bought a fixer upper house and trying to gainweight/muscle mass this is actually my life.

Most of my time not at work is spent repairing something at home, doing chores, working out, or cooking. Usually multitasking them like doing the dishes while resting between sets.

Ive been in an extremely successful poly relationship for multiple years now. Almost 6 years with one partner and a little more than 3 with the other.

Its definitely possible to be successful and happy in polyamory... its just a lot of work for everyone involved.

One of my best friends is poly and going on a 10 year marriage. I consider myself poly but haven't made it work. I think it really comes down to who you date and now comfortable they are with not being monogamous.

I think some people get it right away and then it doesn't become a relationship or they don't and if doesn't become a relationship. But I have met many people that fit the stereotype that "poly" doesn't work. There were always other problems that made it not work. Like drugs or criminal cases.

My partner and I are pretty happy poly people. Been going over a decade now, never better

I really think it's a personal thing for your happiness right? You seem happy to carry her memory and knowing that's exactly what matters to you. If others need someone around, or that you can share the future moments with, then you aren't lying about it being "forever" if you continue living life, life changes lots of things. Sharing that love with someone is huge, but they also wanted to be with you for it. They can't be, so if someone finds someone else and they want to walk through life together I'd like to think someone can find that.

Some are happy with the memory, and their values hold that they would never involve another. But others know that they needed each other to get through the good and the bad, and that person isn't here anymore. They'll never be the same as the person who is gone, but it doesn't mean having them in your life is a "failure" or "betrayal"

So their post "Cueta, Spain right now" was deleted and they were banned for it being racist. I tried to search for whatever the image was in case they'd reposted with an existing title and didn't find anything... other than learning apparently the situation in Ceuta is completely insane.

I hadn't heard that news. I had no idea Spain controlled that tiny bit of land at the tip Africa beside Morocco.

But much as the situation is awful and doesn't seem like a super tasteful topic for a shit post, without seeing whatever it was I can't see how it could be racist. Looking in to Ceuta you can see it has a crazy history, it's been part of Spain for like 400 years, and the inhabitants are a mix of people from many places over time, with the bulk of them being much closer to Morrocan than Spanish.

The whole situation is shit, but I don't see how you could term the folk from one side of a border crossing en masse and loads of violence and death as "racist."

Racism is bad. Not trying to defend it or anything. But unless my settings are wrong OP has 5 posts in the top 30 of the last day in all of LemmyLand. He's half of the top 10 in the last day on this relatively active sub. Sort of sucks to see how slow Lemmy really moves, but that makes it even more weird for one of the people making posts with the most interaction on the platform for a given day to be banned a week. I'm really curious to see that deleted post now.

Is there rep farming on lemmy?

I thought that Karma or total up/down vote accounts are not a thing here?