The past had a LOT of smiths.

“Son, you come from a long line of Dontanswers. Now do your ancestors an honorable turn and impose the most annoying phone conversation in history on this near-stranger.”

You forgot to add the location. John Philadelphia Carpenter.

I do this, too, and my best friend is in my phone by just his last name (the name he goes by), so when I added his wife to my phone when they got married, I put her in as "Name Hislastname," in that same way of association, like you would add someone as "bill plumber," or whatever. And I realized, wait, is this how married couples sharing a name started? Lol

Lots of Dutch last names are ridiculous, allegedly in defiance of foreign empires forcing the people to adopt them for registration purposes.

Eddie cocaine, mike shit weed.

Japanese is more like 'bob from the long field', 'steve from the middle of the village', etc. and are often place references (certain classes had more rights before people had the right to surnames, so a bit different that far back).

Before weed was legal my dealer’s name was John Budd.

Kenny can fuck off and get a job.

Landlord isn't a job.

Matamoros is the one I don't like thinking about.

Don't know, Electrić sounds kinda Balkan to me.

Mr. Burns was not an accident on the simpsons.

I'm a school bus driver. Our director of transportation is in my phone as "Patti Busboss". I genuinely have no idea what her real last name is.

And then there’s the 13th-century simpleton John Fuckbythenavel

Tons of John Work in mine. Definitely not as cool as John Wick.

It works the same way in all older languages.

everyone welcome Chad Shitbag McFuckFace to the chat