Ancestry is weird. You've got 2 parents, 4 grandparents and so on. Do the math and you'll have a billion ancestors in like 40 generations. Obviously, we can't all have a billion unique ancestors, so mathematically there must be plenty of people in my family tree that are also in yours. No matter the geographic spread or race nonsense.

However it's also true that you've got 50% of your parents DNA, ~25% grandparents and so on. Which means eventually, you'll have an ancestor that you share no genetic markers with. It's usually about generation 12 where this happens.

So it's true that we're all related and it's also true that your not related to your 12^th^ great grandfather.

I’d have to go all the way back to my brother. The stupid sumbitch voted for trump!

Yeah, most people don't have to go that far back at all.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure I don't even have to look at my family, I can just look in the mirror.

Anyways, that's enough self loathing for the next 10 seconds, enjoy your shower and your thoughts.

Step one: Dad's a MAGA cultist, alcoholic (i can tell you how an interlock device works), who also builds ghost guns in his garage.

3 generations back was... Vernon. The farm family he came from had tons of kids. Just the boys had a rhyme to remember them all. There was Ed, and Ted, and leather head, and Jim, and John, and Walt, and Vernon. But Vernon was a crook, so after you said his name you spit the juice from your tobacco chew to get his bad name out of your mouth.

It's me 😭

If you go back far enough, your ancestor is a different species.

That's why I always thought it weird when these famous US celebs did these ancestry checks and were so amazed that one of their ancestors was a slave owner or something

Yeah, I'm sure most people will have ancestors that owned slaves. That doesn't say anything about you, or me though

Sins of the father and stuff like that

you probably have hundreds of rapists in your ancestry

I don't have to go back far, since one of my grandfathers invaded Poland and the other one exploited POWs as forced labor to build roads.

And someone who did something important.

What you do with your life isn't tied to either of those.

I just need to look in the mirror to find that person.

Might not be true, just statistically likely

In the span of 30 minutes i learned i had an ancestor who lived to be 104 and was a civil war veteran. He left his home in Alabama to join when he was 16. I then learned her fought for the union.

To find the real shitty people you've got to go back on the other side of the family to the conquistadors in California.

Based on my knowledge of a lack of family wealth, I am fairly certain it's mostly petty theft and prostitution.

Which is way better than , for instance, slave owner, or being one of those factory owners that locks employees in so they die in fires.

There are comforts in knowing I come from a long line of poverty. At least none of us were the worst of the worst.

Ghengis Kahn

The dragon warrior! It's me!

Yup. And it is our moral duty to denounce them if the topic is ever brought up.

We still haven't left this single apple behind, have we?