It lets you hear a computer scream.

The most nostalgic chiptune generator you'll ever hear.

It's a telemarketing prevention device. Hook it up to your phone line, and the number of telemarketing calls would drop instantly.

A CD/Blu-ray rewinder.

Not DVDs though, they were self rewinding

A picture

Not really what you’re looking for, but it immediately made me think of an intercom device.

It's made by US Robotics, so it must be a positronic brain.

Failed download generator

GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE STACY, I WAS ALMOST DONE

This is one of the sickest synthesizers of the 1990s g-funk era. It produced the high-pitched portamento sound that provided iconic hooks for many of the tracks on Dr Dre’s 1993 album The Chronic.

Really bad white noise machine.

Pregnancy test for a Cylon

Early 90s COVID-19 test.

Wow! This brings back memories... It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I'll explain...

These devices used the "Afterlife Toll" (AT) command set, invented by someone named "Hayes" which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here's an example:

ATDT 6665551234

Translated: "Afterlife Toll, Death Touch ". After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.

Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.

Cool fact: This is where the term, "soul crushing machines" comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).

In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!

CPAP machine

That was the keyboard Belgian superband Technotronic used in the 1989 block buster hit Pump up the Jam.

That's an albino Atari from 1980.

An infinite box of nude pictures.

Binary Caller ID

Answering machine

Says so right on the box.

A U.S.-made Robot, designed to play sports.

How I met your mother.

It's a booster seat for squirrels

It's a practical joke device. Using it pisses off your mum and makes her shout "get off that damn computer I want to call your aunt Judith"

White Noise Machine

That is a Speak & Spell. You cast a spell, and it speaks about the impact.

A vintage Covid test

This box from Pandora once contained all the world's doomscrolling.

It's a device from the 90s that played specialize erotica tapes that had an extra channel which synchronized to an electric pocket pussy (not pictured) over 3.5mm cable.

Well it says sportster on it, so whatever it is, it must go really fast!

ECU chip tuner for early CAN bus vehicles.

The first in a range of devices in Bill Gates private museum specifically designed to operate the permanently installed gonad stimulator built into his body.

The latest one is a keychain.

Phone call from Satan

1990's pussy magnet

A magic packet pulse perpetuator and upline / downline pyramid scheme facsimile facilitator aka MPPPUDPSFF

I actually owned one of those!

It's a cable-tv descrambler.

That's violet08