They're self rising Pillsbury biscuits (or similar). Not what Americans call cookies that Brits call biscuits

And yeah, they come in a tube. The plastic/papery wrap is structural to keeping the pressure on them. It's pretty neat packaging design. This is the first I've heard of the little pop being considered scary though

Don't think of a sweet dry disc (what Americans call a "cookie"), think of a thick round doughy scone, slightly salty and buttery, designed to receive either sweet (various jams or jellies) or savory (fried cured meats, eggs, cheese) accompaniment.

There are also a lot of dough based things in a tin sold in Europe. I know that a French company is selling everything in cans under the german brand "knack & back"; bread rolls, croissants and even pizza dough

American biscuits, closest you have are scones iirc

I'm European, Swedish, and these have been common for over a decade. Most common here is in "pizza kits", you get one tube like in the post but with pizza dough and a glass jar of tomato sauce with herbs.

Whop your wad on the counter!

No. I’m sure that’s either photoshopped or a parody account.

I also make my own cinnamon rolls and it’s way more than a few minutes effort. Mix, rise for 1.5 hours, roll out, roll up, cut them all individually, another hour rise, and then you can bake them.

Granted, I do everything up to the baking and then freeze them, but it’s way more than a few more minutes.

Then again, now that I make my own cinnamon rolls I can’t stand anyone else’s.

(I don’t make biscuits so maybe they’re easier)

Sometimes you feel like eating garbage. I make some of the most delicious smash burgers I've ever eaten, but some days I gotta go pick up a $1.29 hamburger from Burger King to ruin my day juuust right.

Only way to do it.

Edit- apparently some people bash the can on a counter. Sounds even more fun I'll have to try.

Ditch the spoon. There's a reason they're called whomp biscuits. Whomp the side of the tube hard against the edge of the counter, with enough force to dispel all fear. It makes the pop feel right, expected, not scary. And the tiny violence gives a feeling of dominance.

That only works if the dough is fresh out of the fridge. If the dough has time to warm up then that outer layer is structural and beginning to peel it will explode the dough in one's hands. It is a nasty surprise.

Do people actually do the spoon thing? I always hit them on the edge of the counter.

He who fights with canned biscuits should look to it that he himself does not become a canned biscuit. And if you pop long into an biscuit roll, the biscuit roll also pops into you.