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Being loved or at least desired by someone must be nice (lemmings.world)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
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If you read my previous post on other place I asked about dating and most responses sounded like it was nice. Yes, I'm aware that relationships are not only good times (I've seen my mother being tired of her partner and scared of my father) but when you have literally NOTHING in your life you can't help to idolising the things you never had...

I don't think that's weird, but it's definitely sad

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[–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

tossed out of an ER

I can relate. That was horrible experience for me and only by intervention of my best friend I am still here.

finally did manage to get a therapist, […] So that's one positive thing

This is HUGE sucess. Congrats! And stick with it for at least couple of months.

Your mind is playing tricks on you where you toss out a possible solutions outright due to buried emotions.

There are a lot of different types of reaources and some work and some don't.

Different types of Therapy (CBT, EMDR, etc.), group therapy, books and lectures, long hikes, pilgrimages, d&d, meditation, Alcoholics Anonymous, hitting the gym, temp work agency and even more esoteric ones that I don't reccomend without trying more normal ones. They all are tools that may not work for you but there exists the tool that will work. The difficulty is in finding one that somewhat works and not giving up half way.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Yeah therapy helps, but there's clearly an underlying physical issue that I've been trying to figure out for more than 20 years.

    But since in my twenties I mentioned weed helping with the symptoms, I've since not been listened to at all, treated as a full on drug addict and every single symptom I have had have been thought to be psychosomatic.

    I've evidence to the contrary. Supported by surgery scars, doctor's statements (from when the doctors actually listened to me when I was younger) and I even quote peer reviewed research from credible medical journals.

    But no. Just treat me like a psychotic junkie. And if I challenge them in any of that, it just confirms their "suspicions".

    I'd just need a couple of grand to waste on private doctors, but I don't have a couple of grand extra.

    So if what I had was purely psychogenic, yes, you'd be totally right. But if what I have is depression because of my underlying chronic illness going undiagnosed because of inept and unwilling healthcare, then therapy might alleviate the symptoms, but it's not gonna make it go away completely.

    My mental health isn't 100%, but my biggest problem at the moment is Finnish bureaucracy, to which shit healthcare is very much intertwined with.

    Edit oh and it didn't take me years to go to therapy because I was unwilling, it's because the healthcare said I didn't need any.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child)

    I've since not been listened to at all,

    Yeah, that sucks.

    I have read some years ago tips for women on reddit how to deal with misygonic docs that don't take problems seriously. The gist of it was to present a story with your appearence that will help the doc emphatize with you (as I remember that was to present themselfs as business woman where illness prevents them from working.)

    I guess something similar could be used for drug user that somehow is intepreted as addict.

    I am uninformed but I heard from psychiatrist that weed has some negative effects on mental illness.

    I would consider stopping weed for a bit, ride on painkillers(? I am totally clueless) for that time and try to get prescription for weed if it's possible (wikipedia says that it's legal for medical use.)

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I guess something similar could be used for drug user that somehow is intepreted as addict.

    This would rely on the doctors first having empathy second being able to use it third be willing to use it.

    I got a bit of progress when I switched my healthcare services to a hc station I knew to have young doctors. As my "drug use" is me using less alcohol than the average person, smoking high-CBD low THC weed and in my early twenties experimented with a few party drugs. This has been recorder as me having had "a serious multisubstance abuse problems"

    for weed if it's possible (wikipedia says that it's legal for medical use.)

    Ruahahaha yeah technically it is legal. There's like a dozen people in the country with a prescription. One is a friend though. He went thorough years of pushing it through with private doctors he practically knew and he has severe nerve pain. Even then you have to eat opiates before ever being allowed to even have a doctor propose that you might benefit from legal cannabis.

    Definitely would never be given to me no matter what I had, as they've deemed me a junkie because I admitted medical use of cannabis. Despite me having gone to weekly randomised drug tests for months on end pissing clean, showing I'm not an addict of any sort.

    I am uninformed but I heard from psychiatrist that weed has some negative effects on mental illness.

    High THC low CBD strains definitely can have negative effects. But usually they people who use those strains take the slight jitters their superpotent weed gives them rather than having unimaginable nervepain throbbing constantly. I'm definitely not in the "no side effects in cannabis" camp, but I had politely tried all of their things and to try and figure this shit out, I thought giving doctors more info would help. That it would help them deduce what's wrong, because cannabis helped my horrible digestive issues, in turn helping me sleep and not be so anxious. (If your stomach constantly hurts as if you were stressing something, you begin to stress about something, even when there's nothing to stress about. Somatopsychic instead of psychosomatic.)

    But no. Basically ruined my life. Fucking wish I could go back to my 18-year old self and slap me around "honesty is overvalued and will only get you in trouble. You want to just seem like you're honest, while lying your ass off."

    "Ride on painkillers"

    Lol what? Eat ibuprofen or opiates... for digestive issues?

    Yeah, you do know what you're talking about when you say "I am totally clueless". No offense, but spot on.

    I have been without weed for months several times. Why do people always assume I haven't?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    Why do people always assume I haven’t?

    I assumed that you have some sort of nerve pain like your friend and it would be unbearable.

    Digestive issues are textbook examples of psychosomatic problems so I am less surprised that they didn't help you. Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth but that's not for me to judge as I have my own life to live and you have yours.

    I have high hopes that therapy will help you.

    Yeah, you do know what you’re talking about when you say “I am totally clueless”. No offense, but spot on.

    I am basically Socrates. And now I don't know what to do with that lack of knowledge. Maybe I should build a time machine and stroll around in an ancient Greece or study philosophy with my inflated ego. /j

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth

    So symptoms can appear before a supposed cause has happened?

    I never had any problems with mood as a kid. Now that I can't work, I do.

    Hmm.

    Almost as if there was a correlation. Which leads me to journals and basically logs of my shit I have. Which quite clearly show the correlation. Also sleep diaries (band recorder from wrist) from the better part of a year, and still. They said I don't need sleep studies (which me and my psychiatrist were pushing for) as "just give him more antipsychotics".

    Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth

    There literally isn't and I've personally studied this personal issue for my entire fucking life, and know what helps what doesn't and what is psychosomatic and what isn't. As I've gone through all variations, such as when I fast, pretty much all of the problems go away, only to be replaced by the alight ones the fasting causes, but they're nothing in comparison. Then I can stress myself out in any ways and still have none of those psychosomatic symptoms.

    Maybe people should accept doctors are people and people can make mistakes. But no. So they can't accept anything has been wrong and I could have a point. And they can't even defend their bullshit, but when I made a complaint to the ombudsman, quoting ICD-10 and the current local doctoral guidelines, still nothing, "Nah nothing wrong done, you're just a junkie."

    I the problems since I was a kid. I started smoking weed the first time around 17-18.

    Most of my current psychosomatic issues come from the rage I get from having to deal with people like you

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth

    sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I made a bunch of assumptions and I have really strong desire to help people, so I have made a mistake.

    I’ve personally studied this personal issue for my entire fucking life

    I would also be outraged if some armchair expert or worse an actual expert spew lies towards me and my situation. Even if I can't offer a solution at least I can be emphatic towards your suffering and your struggle.

    I can't really offer you much other than virtual hug or a prayer to a higher power for a better tomorrow. Take care of yourself as it seems that no one else will.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    It's alright man.

    I can see you clearly mean well.

    I'm just very frustrated about that. Slightly triggering.

    Take care of yourself as it seems that no one else will.

    Thanks. I still have at least 1.5 years of therapy left and he's a really good British guy, and people don't get be homeless in Finland too easily, so that's a bonus. The people and systems just suck and the rightwing government is making them shittier as fast as they can.

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