It's pretty freeing to realize that most people have no idea what's going on and that includes who you may perceive is at a high level. (Almost) Everyone has to report to someone and once you get past three levels from the top, it's like playing a game of telephone where the people at the top start with gibberish in the first place.

Do your best, learn every day (or don't), and don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody has any idea what's going on.