I’m just one dude on the internet with little to no context, but it seems to me that you’re in a huge rut and don’t know how to get out of it. Is there anything you could do which would put you out of your “comfort zone”? I’ve discovered that the best things typically happen when I say “yes” to things even if my instinct is to say “no”. I don’t mean dangerous shit, but opportunities which can seem daunting or uncomfortable.
From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net. Would you be able to pick up and go elsewhere for a bit, even if it’s only a town over? That could be a totally different experience for you. Sounds like it can’t get worse, so why not?