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What are things that bring you joy? (lemmy.fedioasis.cc)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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What are things that bring you joy?

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[–] 4 points 5 months ago (1 child)

I have seen them. All of them. Previously yesterday a meeting with a doctor and a nurse and an hour-long meeting with my therapist.

Genuinely it's that Finns are selfish miserable unemotional treacherous cunts, at least in this part of Finland or towards me.

It's just a cascade of bullshit that's rained down on me in the past decade or two.

And the doctors keep changing constantly without even trying to find help for the physical things I've complained about since the early nineties. But they also won't accept they're in the wrong. So because they haven't found anything I got sent to psychiatry, which wasn't needed back then, but is now. Just the fact that my life is running by without any help from anyone no matter how desperately I plead or where I beg help from. Family, friends, social workers, doctors. Hell, I was even tossed out of an ER for telling the on-call psychiatrist I'm afraid I might hurt myself or others.

I've tried literally all the drugs. Legal and illegal. I think what would help me the most is moving out of Finland. But can't afford it.

So weeks roll by like days, months like weeks and years like months. I haven't done practically anything in several years, except try to figure out what's wrong with myself and pleading for help.

"Help is always available" is complete bullshit.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    I’m just one dude on the internet with little to no context, but it seems to me that you’re in a huge rut and don’t know how to get out of it. Is there anything you could do which would put you out of your “comfort zone”? I’ve discovered that the best things typically happen when I say “yes” to things even if my instinct is to say “no”. I don’t mean dangerous shit, but opportunities which can seem daunting or uncomfortable.

    From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net. Would you be able to pick up and go elsewhere for a bit, even if it’s only a town over? That could be a totally different experience for you. Sounds like it can’t get worse, so why not?

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    I've done a lot outside my comfort zone.

    And in it.

    I've tried pretty much everything and just had really fkin rotten luck.

    Tried setting up my own business, only to be foiled by "some bug" in the system of a creditor I took a loan from when I went mad for a week or two in 2016 out of work stress and insomnia.

    I just really don't care about even trying anymore. There's only so many times you can bang your head against a wall before you get a headache bad enough that you just have to take a break.

    From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net.

    Yeah, people like to think so. It's good... on paper.

    But for instance there's a scheme called "social credit", which some municipalities / cities use. It means that for relatively small loans, you can get a loan from the city to cover all your high interest payday loans, as not to get caught up in a debt cycle.

    I had decent credit, I had paid more than 60e a month of my expensive loan (then one I took in during the mental breakdown and don't even recall and someone might have just used me and stolen it no idea) and I was applying for a small loan from this social credit. I was basically exactly who it was aimed at. And the loan I needed would've cost me 40e/month. Yet I didn't get it cause the bureaucrat social ladies didn't like my attitude, essentially. Even after I quoted the law which they use and showed them my bank statements from a few years.

    So nah.

    No money for moving. If I just get a few k from somewhere then that's income and can't get social security nomore, so the extra becomes not extra.

    There's a reason they talk of Finland's record-high unemployment numbers. We're living in a fucked up bureaucracy and no-one here cares.

    I've also switched my services to the next town over. Hasn't helped.

    A lot of this is discrimination just because I've been for legalising cannabis for the past 20 or so years and anytime anyone reads it it's like "oh, heroine shooting junkie scum whom we shouldn't help, no matter what". Despite me not being any sort of junkie. But Finland views random cannabis use as shooting up or like smoking crack.

    Honestly I'm kinda tired of people even suggesting that I can do something about this. If only I could communicate the amount I've done and variety of things I've tried. I just need to get the fuck out of here, really, I think.

    Finland is not as great as people think it is. The nature is nice, systems good on paper, yet...

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    Sorry, I don’t mean to assume that it’s all in your power. Shit luck happens, often times to some people more than others. But please have faith that it can and will change. The world is big and random, and luck can change.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago*

    I didn't mean to offend or anything, thanks for the kind words but....

    Yeah that's kind of the bitch about depression. You lose faith.

    And I had it a looooooooooooong time.

    There's nothing I can personally do anymore, but no-one in my society will recognise that and aid me. Thus this will just continue and worsen.

    I've even started to disregard personal hygiene to a point. I still shower and wash my teeth, but showering used to be daily. Now I don't even get up from bed every day.

    But I can't get Finland to recognise I'm not capable of work currently. Spent several years fighting it. And we have an actual legal professor on our family friends but they won't answer me and no-one will ask for me. I've just been actively pushed to this situation by my society while at the same time it's pretending I'm not even in a situation.

    It's like the entire country I'm living in is gaslighting me because they can't accept realty from their delusions.

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