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Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by [M] to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[+] -11 points 2 years ago (3 children)

In an incredibly basic sense: buy low, sell high. As we live in a capitalist society, this is the way things work.

Those who choose to slave away as workers are only generating profit for their overlords

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    What do I buy low and sell high?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    You simply need a diversified portfolio of assets, then you do shorts but don't do puts or something.

    I actually have no idea what any of that means, but I have a friend who does stocks stuff and that's the sort of thing he says lol.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Bananas

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Isn't the banana market run by cartels now?

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  • [–] -3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I couldn't say, but avocados are a cash crop utilized by cartels

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    So gamble? The only proven way to reliably make money on investing are things like index funds, which you will need a fair amount of starting capital to make a living off of.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago

    I'm not talking about stocks. I'm talking about literally anything that people will pay money for, which is a lot of stuff. You can even make the stuff or get it for free, vastly increasing your profit margins.

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