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[–] 118 points 2 years ago (1 child)

You don’t go to work for the TSA because you got a 1600 on your SAT.

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  • [–] 64 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 59 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You shake the ball, it responds 'ask again later'...

    ... except there is also now a blinking red led, which is blinking more and more rapidly.

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  • [–] 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Sounds like a great writing prompt.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago

    Jimmy swore up and down that he didn't know that the magic 8 ball could do that. Unfortunately for him, the TSA agents were unable to hear him over the increasingly louder and more rapid beeping sounds made by said magic 8 ball. Within moments, Jimmy was on the ground with the weight of a TSA agent on his back and the cool steel of a handgun pressed to his neck.

    "Don't fucking move," ordered a TSA agent. Another agent immediately followed up with, "I'll blow your head off if you try anything." As the magic 8 ball liked to say to him sometimes, for Jimmy, his outlook was not so good.

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  • [–] 38 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Plot twist: the liquid inside the ball is nitroglycerin.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You can't trust the 8-ball in this situation, it's biased.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago

    Believe it or not, that’s a frisking.

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  • [–] -4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Its funny, because America is dead inside :-D !

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  • [+] -22 points 2 years ago

    Ohh, her husband likes buttstuff, but she doesn't.

    As long as it works for them, it's fine.

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