The joke is that non of these are real and the bottom 2 are making fun of the top 1

I was at a gas station filling up and getting a diy cappuccino and a can of tea. The attendant didn’t ring up the cappuccino. I pointed it out and he said “nah sir, you’re all settled up”.

I respect that man’s commitment to fucking over The Man.

I worked at a gas station about 20 years ago. Even then it would be impossible for someone to give away gas in this way.

Before the pump turns on, either the customer would have to authorize the transaction with a credit card, or an employee would have to manually authorize the transaction if they were paying with inside the store. If the gas wasn't paid for, it would be immediately obvious by the end of the day that the till (or books or whatever) was short. To clear out the transaction without paying, we'd have to push some buttons on the register to declare that the customer drove off, and essentially accuse them of stealing, get the manager to check the security cams for the license plates, etc. No one could use that pump until the previous transaction was cleared out.

Maybe some gas stations worked differently, but I doubt any big chain ones had less security than that.

Never doubt the dick.

I guess in the US the milkshake machines are not directly behind the counter, in full view of the customers?

I currently hold a high position in US government and had some shlops repair the reflecting pool. Was supposed to cost a million. I gave them 13. nobody noticed anything

So glad I live in Australia where that shit is illegal. The price they advertise is the legal price.

Based.

whaaat? People lie? On the internet?

I think that’s the point. He is trying to one up the guy with the nuggets by saying something ridiculous.

He actually only worked the registers, but made himself a sweaty cock shake every night for two years!

I mean I've been in the back of a McDonald's before. I can see a little bit of sleight of hand getting a few extra nuggets in a box here or there but I'm having a harder time visualizing how the fuck you would manage to pull your pants down and stick your willy in it. Additionally you would have milkshake all over your cock and it probably wouldn't be very pleasant. I really just struggle to envision how the fuck you would get away with doing that even one time given how much of a slave drive working at McDonald's is.

That's where you're wrong on two accounts, first off the counter comes up to my waist so I'm not wearing any pants. Second, I put my wiener in the cup while I long pour the milkshake.

Next you're going to tell me you don't believe I shove every straw up my pee hole without anyone noticing but the secret is I always keep one in the chamber.

I'm a master of slight of hand.

Well of course..... it was made with love.

Yeah, I'm not too bothered if someone wants to put their dick in my car's gashole, have at it dude!