By golden age they mean something cheap with gold spray paint.

This reads like a North Korean headline

All I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that’s the end of the magnets

- Golden Scientist Trump

so back to drowning women in rivers because they float like a duck?

Golden age of ignorant people.

What, he's going to find out the youngest age a girl can get pregnant?

The report also seems not to realize that it is being written by the Trump administration.

There are a few delightful digs like this in this article.

The only thing that's golden is the tacky veneer on the White House walls in the picture.

You mean the Trump that's responsible for the brain drain in the US because he declared war on science and scientists? The guy that hired conspiracy theorists and fox News anchors for high regime positions and a health minister who's into roadkill penisses, brain worms and swimming in feces while claiming paracetamol causes autism and vaccinations are bad?

Yeah, I bet he'll be the inventor of the Idiocracy time machine. Unless that ride requires magnets.

What? By dying?

By driving science away to places it can thrive

Miserable fucking sycophants. He's actually ushering in a dark age worse than the one that followed the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

I'm sure he could, but it would be in Europe away from him and his science denying flat earth believing pals.

Wait, this isn't the Onion?

Trump's understanding of science is on a par with that of Flat Earth and Hollow Earth believers. It's hard to foster what you don't understand.

Ha, ha, ha

What, they're seriously believing Trump and "science" belong on the same page together?!?

Do they even know how science works?

Soooo, he's going to use tax payer dollars to fund Christian science reading rooms across the nation?

The Golden Age will begin once the Orange Era concludes.

Donald Trump says Donald Trump is a pretty cool guy

In China?

...by leaving office

Can, but won't.

This is just a euphemism for alchemy isn't it. He's going to dump billions of taxpayer dollars into a quest to turn lead into gold.

Uh-huh

...by axing or redirecting (read: embezzling) funds once spent on actual science?

This coming from the same guy who was confused about what happens with magnets just a few months ago and now he tells people in order to make money you "do magnets".

A real golden shower of wisdom from that bag.

By dying maybe

They don't mean "Golden age of science" as a time when lots of awesome and important science gets done. He fired all the scientists. But he IS having the plain black ink in science printers replaced with a sparkly gold ink, so all of the bad science will look way more shiny and golden.

Only if the word is redefined to mean "shitting your diaper and lying about it".

In other old news: the sugar industry says "sugar isnt dangerouse and too much sugar doesnt exist" (yes this is actually a statement of the sugar industry)

That Orange Pedo love’s ignorance not science.

The golden age of "who knows what's happening"

he would likely die bathing in water filled with gold particles.

We'll reach new heights in astrology and horoscopes. Tea leaves will hold no more secrets and we'll become a major exporter in rabbit feet! /s

Yeah bleach injections for covid you don't want these leaded gasoline enthusiasts around any scale.

“Can”, not “will”. A subtle but important distinction.

Defunding is not how, but he is the stupidest person to ever hold the office, so expecting him to know better is a recipe for disappointment.