I was chilling on the couch watching tv when my roommate came home. She left her purse on the kitchen counter, then came to join me on the couch. I realized after she sat down that I was thirsty, and I'd missed my opportunity to ask her to grab something for me when she was in the kitchen. So I sent a text to her phone, which was still in her purse on the kitchen counter.

She groaned, then got up to check her message:

"Hey, since you're up anyway, can you grab me a soda from the fridge?"

I pirated a movie because I didn't want to plug in my external hard drive.

Paid $30 for a $6 meal to be delivered to my house using DoorDash instead of driving myself to the drive thru.

Instead of scrolling back up to the top of a website, I refresh the page.

I don't have shoes with laces.

Once I jerked it rather than having sex because it didn't want to put the effort in to have sex with my gf at the time.

This backfired though, as she caught me and then she talked me into going down on her as punishment

Took a photo of my floor with the flash to find where i dropped a chip rather than get up and turn the light on

I'll often order stuff from Ebay/Amazon even though the shop is right next door. It's partial anxiety but also mostly pure laziness.

Not finished this r

I once pirated a book because I didn’t want to get it from another room.

Based.

I'd love to tell you, but...

I called my girlfriend's phone while she was in a tent 5m away from the spot I was sitting in.

Didn't feel like getting up or yelling.

Not exactly the laziest but I was in IT collaborating with a dev on a project for our MSP’s control panel. They were ignoring my meeting invites, emails and IMs for a few days and I was getting annoyed. They were upstairs in a separate building across from ours. Kind of a hike.

Rather than hunt them down like a normal person, i browsed to their drive and stuck a batch script in their startup folder that drew a cheeky Matrix-style animated graphic (first one was out then) that after 30 seconds or so faded out to a message asking them to contact me. I set it so it would pop up and maximize if they rebooted. I tested it a bit but wasn’t sure if it would work or even if they ever rebooted since we had dedicated workstations.

But apparently they shut down their machine every night. So the next day they stood up and freaked out yelling that they had been hacked before they saw the ensuing message.

They were pretty pissed off once someone calmed them down and they figured out what i’d done, but we got the project completed after that.

always go out in public in pjs & slippers like many of my neighbors

Once picked up the kids with the car instead of walking. I was feeling weird maybe a cold or something, and didn't want to walk. It's only about 1Km.

Ate raw noodles. Didn't feel like boiling water.

Frequently use voice to text because I can't be bother typing. This is an example but it doesn't always work well.

installed linux just to escape the windows disaster. turned out it was the right(and laziest) thing i could do. after initial setup it just sits there...working like clockwork since day one and hasnt skipped a beat. no surprises. just works. if it ever doesnt work, there has been a thumbdrive permanently hanging out in the back of the box with timeshift updating every day. waiting. prepared for something to go wrong. so far havent had to use it. in fact i keep forgetting it's even there. i suppose i should switch it out once it fills up.

Probably a lot of other things I cannot remember, but the example I can think of it backing up a CD so I don't have to use either my external USB disc, battery hig Discman, or internal disc drive ( only on my old toaster desktop ) to listen to it. Hell, at one point I had my external USB disc drive connected to my toaster desktop at one point in order to not have to reach behind my old monitor.