I doubt it.

Eyes his french press suspiciously

All jokes aside, IoT devices suck.

Why does a dishwasher need to connect to a remote server to use its full functionality? Why does my coffee maker need me to start it using an app? At that point it isn't a feature, it's a dependency that the company behind will eventually shut down one way or another.

Kinda relevant here

Shoots coffee maker Americanly. Shoots toaster too, just to be sure.

Guess I'll have to keep making coffee the old way

If you bought a coffee pot requiring network access and give it unrestricted internet then you deserved to become a government pawn

If the have "reams" of data on me, good luck reading through it all.

[This is a sarcastically humourous take on the fact that the word "reams" is used, which is a measure of blocks of 500 pieces of paper.]

Wait until you find out what they're doing to you through your toilet seat!

why would I care? the US is spying on me and they're a much bigger threat to me

I was gifted a thermal insulated coffee mug with built-in battery to keep hot. Connects to phone via Bluetooth. Got warnings that the mug would be able to track all 50+ Bluetooth MAC IDs that are in range (I’m in an apt building). That mug will never get turned on or used

I like to imagine the guy who pitched spying on Americans through their coffee makers like "we need to figure out how much coffee Americans are drinking" and everyone in the room was just fully on board with this genius idea.

I've got a french press. Is it spying on me for china or France. At this point I don't care which one.

Thought that it would be obvious that your $25 smart coffee maker was spying on you.

Oooh new vocab, thanks.

精神分裂症

Jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng

Schizophrenia

精神 - mind/mental state

分裂 - split/divided

症 - illness

謝謝（不,我沒有精神分裂症）

Xièxiè (bù, wŏ mĕi yòu jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng)

Thanks (no, I don't have schizophrenia)

The US also has reams of data on every American. The difference is America is using to control, capture, and kill people.

What's the worst that can happen? China takes over and I'm forced to slave my life away and not be able to get anything I want?..... oh wait..

Is that why this stainless steel French press needs wifi to work?

How do they have reams of data on every American? I'm not following.

I don't give a rats ass if chinas tracking me. Why? because I don't live in china nor do I ever plan to. In fact, I'd prefer they track me instead of a US company