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[–] 72 points 2 years ago (1 child)

Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next- [CRACK]

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  • [–] 34 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Isn't Santa omniscient? He should already know where the presents are, so he must be a sadist.

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  • [–] 48 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

    Santa isn't omniscient. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. We can infer from this phrasing that he can't see you when you're awake. He also knows if you've been bad or good but that information isn't as specific.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    What if I upload my consciousness to the internet, then ran that through a VPN and Tor and iP2P and all that, think I could shake him?

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    You need to be behind 7 proxies to evade him

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You can't even shake Facebook or Google that way. How do you expect it to work against a demi-god?

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I think we're discussing the limitations of a fictional being. In the context of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", I'm not sure his powers apply to the internet, being that "He sees you when you're sleeping...", but he only "... knows when you're awake." So if my incorporeal consciousness was uploaded to the internet, do you think I could spoof my online status to green, so that I'd be untraceable to Santa?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago*

    I reckon he knows if you've been bad or good because of the parents' assessment of their children's goodness. That is not a specific Santa power, except in as much as the power of Santa to get that parental assessment is a power

    I think it has to be based on the parents, as clearly bad kids still get presents, and only their mother thinks they're good.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago* (3 children)

    Be the Grinch. Get ostracized by looking different. Slowly get shunned from your community and froze out. Be ignored. Everyone hates you for no reason.

    They rub it in your face by being as loud and noisy as possible. You tried to get away but they still flaunt it in your face. Only your best doggo understands and loves you still.

    You go down and try to stop it and take their shit. Next day, they're still singing their fucking songs. You give them their shit back and NOW they like you.

    Lesson: Nobody will like you until it looks like you did something good. Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago

    Blocks the door with a chair

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    Gordon: "Which one are you going after?"

    Santa: "MRS. CLAUS!"

    Gordon, to his officers: "We're going after Rudolph!"

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Driving around this year looking at lights, the grinch is way over represented.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    "You'll never get it out of me, you jolly basterd."

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Why are there so many "webcomics" that look exactly like this? AI generated?

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