what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn't want to spend more time with them, given the option?

Boomers, you said it yourself. Being a stay at home dad was unheard of and seen as emasculating. So silly.

To be fair, some people aren't great at being a homemaker--it's a particular passion and skill set and it's not for everyone. But blindly drawing that distinction on gender lines is definitely a boomer thing.

Had an older guy at work who had four kids, and when it came up in conversation, he proudly noted that he had never changed a diaper. Told him that I'd be mortified to admit I was such a useless dad.

I'm sitting here cuddling with my infant son and I never want to go back to work. I'll have to (so will my wife), and I hate that for both of us. But I definitely don't want to.

Tbh, I don't want to be any kind of dad.

You’d think so, but they’ve done studies and there tends to be more marital issues in families where the woman makes more of, or all of, the money.

Personally I agree that it shouldn’t be defined along gender lines. We don’t have kids, but my husband is way better with babies and children than I am. It would make much more sense (if we could afford it) for me to work and him to stay home. But it seems that, society-wise, we have a long way to go.

Counterpoint: I took some months off work when my first one was born. And I hated it. I felt that all my value was as “baby-sustaining-machine”, the highest mental skill requested any given day was loading a laundry load and it was very socially isolating (not many people available during working hours for socializing). At the same time, it was stressful being constantly the only one in charge. I was relieved to drop them at daycare and get back to work.

Now that they are of early school age, I enjoy spending time with them, but I also find it taxing. I know I wouldn’t be a good parent if I were to do it 24/7. But I am glad to spend every non-school moments together.

Yeah, I turn down invitations to go out after my nighttime board meetings if it means I get home in time to put my kids to bed. I take them to school in the morning and pick them up just about every day. Sometimes they get on every single one of my nerves, but I love being home with them, playing with them, making dinners that they complain about and it makes my blood boil. It's all part of the package. The whole idea of the silent workaholic dad is just crazy to me. I want to be the one who takes them to the park.

Word. Spending time with them is the real prize.

Just hire a nanny too and go get milk from the store.

Damned amateur.

😅🤣

Yeah! I'm even encouraging my wife to put herself out there more and ask for promotions.

Naw that's just rent in LA.

You don't stay rich, by spending it all.

Oh man, that's $33k/year :( When dealing with any genie or monkey paw, always specify which currency you want the money to be in!

People feel weird about it, but it's perfectly fine.

My wife doesn't work a paying job, we don't have kids, but in almost every conversation when I'm meeting someone when they ask what my wife does and I tell them, they always follow it up with like, "Oh does she work from home?" or "Oh, does she sell stuff online?"

It often breaks their brain that she doesn't work a paid job.

Great job if you can get it!

She won the lottery and took the annuity.