Lairmore had testified that the sandwich “exploded all over” his chest and claimed he could smell mustard and onions. But a photo showed that the sandwich was still in its wrapper on the ground after it hit Lairmore in his bulletproof vest.

So he perjured himself, then? Surely something's going to come of that? No? Huh, okay, then.

The fact that this guy had to go to court at all to defend himself is just asinine. These dumb fascist fucks are a bunch of thin skinned bullies.

Border Patrol Officer Greg Lairmore received two "gag gifts" related to the incident — a plush sandwich and a patch featuring a cartoon of Dunn throwing the sandwich with the words “Felony Footlong” — which the defense team argued showed this was not a serious event in his life.

That is amazing.

It should be remembered that SEVERAL grand juries initially declined to charge the defendant, despite the ironic traditional reputation of grand juries to "indict a ham sandwich." But they kept going back. They were determined to destroy this citizen.

Obviously, they eventually prevailed, got the Sandwich Assassin into a courtroom, where the "victim" proceeded to blatantly lie in open court:

Lairmore had testified that the sandwich “exploded all over” his chest and claimed he could smell mustard and onions. But a photo showed that the sandwich was still in its wrapper on the ground after it hit Lairmore in his bulletproof vest.

What fucking drama queen LIAR. He should be charged with perjury.

Also, the jurors had sandwiches for lunch. I'm surprised the Trump lawyers didn't try for a mistrial on the grounds that lunch was prejudicial.

I feel bad for the guy for losing a perfectly good sandwich.

Fucking ICE losers.

Continuing the great American tradition of jury nullification

Sooooo new trend? Subs for fascists?

The jury — which feasted on sandwiches for lunch Thursday, according to a person familiar with jury lunches — deliberated the charges for several hours Wednesday and Thursday before delivering the verdict.

He should now sue to have ICE buy him a gift card to replace the sandwich.

🎶There goes my hero... Watch him as he throws! 🎵

Every day goes by seeing this in the news and I am reminded of child criminal Brendon Chaney.

WARNING: This kid is a criminal

Soooo... We PAID for this B.S. We paid for the arrest, check the number of uniformed tax-payer funded officers. We paid for the prosecution, we paid for the court, we paid for the jury, we paid and paid AFTER the famously sandwich-indicting Grand Jury wouldn't touch this case.

Somehow it feels like the DA should be relieved of their duties.

Lettuce be heard!

A jury of the defendant's peers just said "FUCK YOU!"

Imagine being the cop on the stand talking about the smell of onions and a light stain on his shirt acting like he just came back from 'Nam. Fucking embarrassing.

🎵🎶There goes my gyro

He threw it in protest. He was acquitted.

You know what to do next time you go to protest!

If the sandwhich don’t fit you must acquit!

Ahahaha, what a hero

I picture the jury savoring their lunch sandwich and one of them being like, "So... not guilty?". Everyone nods and goes back to working on their sandwich.

Long live sandwich man!!!