Donate the money to a charity in their name.
Like an honest Good Charity whose cause they believe in.
That way, you'll have done a nice thing in their name but they'll be a piece of shit for feeling bad about it when they find out what you did instead of giving them the money directly.
How old are they? As that will completely change what presents fit your criteria.
Glittery slime for their child. It's the cruelest thing you can buy someone and probably costs closer to $10.
Why be a dick?
Pennies. Individually wrapped.
What kind of a “friend” are you to ask this question??
Live insects. A quick amazon search indicates that you could buy 2,000 live crickets or 27,000 live ladybugs.
A sync for lemmy lifetime subscription
superglue the money to birthday card
Convert it all to pennies and give it to your friend that way.
A glitterbomb and a donation to something they really don’t like. A stripper of the gender they’re not interested in. If they’re italian, throw in a square-shaped pineapple pizza, too.
An office chair. For that price it will be terrible and too big to do anything with it besides gifting it or throwing it out.
a friend of mine once gifted me some lottery tickets and one fake one. fake one said I had won like 30K but when you read the back to see how to collect there were things like redeemable at yo mamas house etc.
that was probably 20-25 years ago, I still can't fully forgive him.
A glitter bomb?
5x $20 lottery tickets. Most lottery tickets have a 1:3 - 1:5 win rate, so if you're lucky enough he might win literally nothing. Nothing else on this list gives the friend hope. Hope unfulfilled is the definition of cruelty.
What did they do to you??
A picture of the money.
a case of Jeppson's Malört
Deodorant
a video of you burning that money
If the friend is Chinese or East Asian, buy a black picture frame with a black and white picture of them already mounted. Or buy them a set of knives. Or give them money in a white envelope.
A dildo. So that he/she can go f**k himself/herself.
A goldfish. Just the fish. Ask them to name it on the spot so they have to keep it. Now they need to rearrange their home to make space, and buy a tank and such for it.
Plus, it's cheap, so not much of a refund going on if they decide to just give it back.
Assuming you are just a horrible person: Buy them gympie gympie leaves, toss them in a gift bag, and don't tell them what they are but that their present is in the leaves.
The present is incredible pain btw.
A picture of yourself or a mirror?
There was a company once specilized in delivering boxes full of the shit (meaning feces) of your choice to your chosen special person, it was called something like "shitexpress"
A pile of shit... (literally)
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