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Drags thinks maybe a lot of people see all false accusation victims as rich and powerful, and forget that false accusation victims can be poor people and minorities.

False accusation victims can even be women! So many of these conversations seem to act like gay sex doesn't exist.

Feels like trying to monopolize victim hood or some weird shit

The message is that false allegations are extremely few and most of the time won't "ruin someone's life" so men pretending it's an actual problem are just looking for an excuse to be sexist and don't care about using the misfortune of other men (those whose lives have actually been ruined by false allegations) as scapegoats.

I would add in that it's hard as an individual man who has not sexually assaulted or raped anybody to not feel somewhat targeted or falsely accused by these things.

I am on the victim's side.

Rapists and sexual assaulters should suffer every indignity necessary to restore the balance of what they have done, but it's also understandable that innocent people who get caught up in these shotgun blast social media responses take personal offense at it.

It feels like being accused of something heinous and it's normal and natural to be indignant when you are falsely accused of a crime.

At the same time, though, for me, a man to get into this conversation as if I were somehow a part of it to begin with also causes me to step on the rightful hurt feelings of people who have experienced sexual assault or some sort of gender-based trauma.

It's essentially impossible to thread the needle on this.

Lol

They aren’t, but we are very publicly watching a certain group get away with it, and everyone else being ignored.

My step father came clean for raping/grooming his own daughter for 6 years from her age of 9 on. He physically abused the rest of the children in the house, and my personal favorite, locking me in a room for weeks on end, not even allowed use of a toilet. (Took me yesrs to figure out it was because I'd have to walk past his beroom door to get the the bathroom, he didn't want that, so He kept me locked in my own).

After he dmitted to everything when I finally had evidence to turn him in, ruining multiple children's lives, he did 8 years in prison. 8. The mother fucker is a homeowner now. His children aren't even homeowners. We all aged out as wards of the state, left with nothing and no support. Any extended family turned their backs.

Multiple other men of the family were known about, but faced no consequences and are still allowed at Christmas dinner.

I hate it. Yes false allegations are beyond fucked up. But my stepfather should have gotten more than 8 years for ruining the lives of his own children. My grandfather, may he rot in hell, got away with this shit for decades. Uncles who got away with it, cousins. Incestuous pigs.

Rape culture is pervasive in the modern world, but most don't seem willing to have such a dark truth.

Because if I get drunk and shoot a drunk girl, there won't be anyone asking if perhaps the girl actually wanted to get shot.

That still shocks me. Apart from the accusation, he had a screaming temper tantrum in the hearing. That alone should have lost him the chair, you wouldn't hire a McDonald's employee if they behaved like that in a job interview

Because guilty until proven innocent.

Don't get me wrong, there are huge problems both with (parts of) male culture normalizing sexual harrassment and barriers to reporting of sexual assault, but none of that means that it isn't expected that some amount of it goes unpunished so we don't punish anyone innocent. Believe the victim doesn't mean you instantly condemn the accused, it means you support the victim with their problems and don't start questioning everything outside of court. (Money/power also probably plays a big role in how many high profile cases that seem pretty clear go unpunished, but I don't need to explain that to lemmy of all places).

So anything suggesting that less than 100% of accusations leading to convictions leaves a horrible taste.

The manosphere hate to acknowledge women as victims, and love to identify as one themselves

Because if you falsely accuse me of a crime and im looking at jail time, we have a problem that is going to turn violent very fast. Im a firm believer in persuing rapists. It is in no way paradoxical for me to say that is would be unfair for my innocence should be presumptive.

I can only assume that people advocating for the blanket belief of woman victims must all be women, because how are you possibly going to put yourself in a situation where half of the people around you can simoly say three words and your entire life is over. As it stands now, any woman who walks into my buisness could accuse me of rape and i would lose my family, my job, and likely my house. Literally half of the people i interact with could end my life.

Its funny, theres a parallel with that last sentence that id be lacking to not bring up. But when when its in the context of half of the people you meet being able to physically end your life, thats a problem.

The only thing people are advocating for here is eliminating the double standard. Everyone should be presumed innocent in any type of crime, because at least for me im not serving time for a crime i didnt commit without taking everyone else involved down.

Edit: yeah, so as expected, i had a couple decent discussions with people. As soon as they realised they were wrong, they got offended and started name calling, completely dropping any attempt at pretending they stand for something other than hate. Pretty fuckin cringe

Idk isn't people getting disgusted and defensive when put in the same group as rapists and pedophiles a good thing?

Imagine the alternative where men are just fine with it or even start making jokes about it like the male communities in other apps. I would just abandon lemmy.

Some say car crashes are dangerous. What's really dangerous is metastasized cancer.