Rapists know they'd be punished and/or shunned if they spoke of their crimes, so they don't talk about it.

Victims on the other hand are encouraged to seek help; talking through the trauma as a means of coping and healing.

It only makes sense the victim would be more commonly known about than the offender.

On top of that; a rapist is more likely to have created multiple victims, it's not just a 1:1 comparison.

Because the same few guys are raping a lot of different women.

Because most non-rapist guys choose not to associate with predatory guys, while the latter's victims didn't have a choice in the matter.

It bothers me that anyone pointing to the majority of men who are not rapists, is getting branded as a rape apologist.

As a guy, I can say with certainty that I've never been involved in, nor known about anyone who was the perpetrator of rape.

I firmly believe that the perpetrators, specifically the male perpetrators of rape, if they tell anyone, they say it as a regular sexual encounter. Ladies, we don't go into details taking about who did what in the bedroom. The most I've ever heard from any guy about their sexual exploits, is that they happened "I banged her" (or similar), and sometimes a quip about the experience or the person, eg: "it was great" or "she's a freak (in bed)" or similar.

The reason we don't know that the people we know are rapists, is because they're not coming out and telling us about it. I promise, if they did, they wouldn't be free for long. They'd either end up in jail, or beaten bloody by the majority of us (or worse).

Generally we just don't say much about what happens in the bedroom, to eachother.

Did you know that alienating men and making them feel like bad people for things they themselves didn’t do doesn’t do anything to help anyone?

I had a good friend who turned out to have murdered his girlfriend. He did not confide that in us. We weren’t just hanging out with some guy who murdered just girlfriend because we were ok with that. All of us changed our view and opinion of this person and not a one has remained their acquaintance after it came out.

I bet I know someone who has raped someone. I wouldn’t willingly associate with them if I knew, and they’re likely not going to out themselves. I know that none of the people I know would continue to associate with someone like that if we knew.

People hide shit, people do awful things, othering and hating only makes out groups and creates greater rifts.

This picture makes a pretty good point BUT when lodged as a bomb at half the population it’s like punching a lifeguard in the mouth.

If 1 in 100 men is a rapist, then he can rape a lot more women than 1 in 100. Very few people are responsible for most occasions, similarly with divorces, etc.

Also why would anyone admit to being a rapist?

RAINN says only 3% of men commit it.

So I’d say that’s why most men don’t know a rapist.

Who tf would go around admitting to serious crimes that'll get you shunned from most circles?

I am a man. I do not know the answer to this question and it's fucking disturbing.

Edit: I spent 30 more seconds thinking about it and realized that victims who speak are heard, but almost no perpetrator thinks they're doing anything wrong.

When I'm having beers with my buddies we mostly talk about sports, sometimes work and random other bullshit like movies and such.

It's actually very rare for dudes to discuss felonies they've committed.

So, this is a fun one:

1. A rapist often has more than one victim.

2. Someone who disclosed to one person may well have disclosed to many.

3. Rapists tend not to self-disclose.

4. The definition of rape is badly established between both parties (it's an absolute minefield).

What you end up with is lots of small factors giving the illusion of a higher frequency by counting the same predator twice among women, and you also have factors that may cause predators not to be counted by men giving the illusion of a lower frequency.

This is - and I cannot overstate it - a joke.

Im a survivor of childhood sexual assault and im a man.

P.s. my abuser was a woman

I do know a rapist. Unfortunately I only found out she was a rapist when she raped me.

Plenty of men know Trump

well it's very common knowledge that men don't confide in each other as much as women do.

FWIW I have had to excommunicate multiple people from my life based on credible accusations of sexual assault. One of them was my best friend.

I did, actually. Our college never did anything about him and I don't believe he got into legal trouble. We did kick him off of our special dorm floor at least. Piece of shit.