509
It wasn't your fault (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 months ago by to c/witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
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If you find one, you find a group cos like attracts attracts like.

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[–] 39 points 11 months ago (3 children)

So, this is a fun one:

  1. A rapist often has more than one victim.

  2. Someone who disclosed to one person may well have disclosed to many.

  3. Rapists tend not to self-disclose.

  4. The definition of rape is badly established between both parties (it's an absolute minefield).

What you end up with is lots of small factors giving the illusion of a higher frequency by counting the same predator twice among women, and you also have factors that may cause predators not to be counted by men giving the illusion of a lower frequency.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    The definition of rape is badly established between both parties

    Well, you had me right up to this point. But the "how was I supposed to know?" shit is consistently said by the worst creeps.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    The pawblem is that it's not just the worst creeps though. There are plenty of men, and even some women, who will say it's not rape if:

    • She didn't say no
    • She's a sex worker
    • They're married
    • He stealths (even if they agree that's wrong, calling it rape seems to be "taking it too far" for many)

    There are plenty more examples I can think of but these are the most common in my opinion. Maybe you can make the argument that people that don't see these as rape are also the "worst creeps". However, it still follows OC's point that the definition isn't universal in a way where less men will know a rapist then women.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago* (1 child)

    I was in the process of writing a long response that almost completely mirrored your top 2.

    1. 1 to many
    2. Self reporting

    I added a clustering or self-filtering problem, basically rapists likely don’t have a lot of friends so that’s why guys would necessarily know a rapist.

    And I hadn’t even considered your last point but it is indeed a valid one, although it really shouldn’t be all that different.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

    It definitely shouldn't, but out there is a man who thinks torturing consent out of someone isn't rape, and a woman who thinks refusing to marry after sex is rape.

    Between those two extremes (and beyond them!) is every shade of definition, and the lines vary by nation and culture. This is not a statement condoning this, it is a sad one of fact.

    (Edit, even in this very thread is someone who thinks rape is defined by not agreeing with them!)

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  • [+] -28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    This is some grade A rape apologia right here. Thank you, mr. Von rapeington.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    That illustrates another controversial point that inflates perception of numbers - false accusation. A crime you, yourself, have just committed (the women you've harmed in doing so would like to take this time to not thank you).

    I hesitated to mention it since it often falls under (4), but your example clearly differentiates here as you're making malicious use of the statement to further your own ideological goals because a random person on the internet said something you disagreed with.

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