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[–] 35 points 2 years ago (3 children)

John Deere™ Tractor Beam

No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    data turns around
    "captain, did I execute humour successfully?"

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  • [–] [S] 26 points 2 years ago* (3 children)

    (I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard's dumbfounded face too much)

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    Captain's Log. Stardate 23170.6
    I have growing concerns about commander data's new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

    Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge's beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

    Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

    Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

    In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

    Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

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  • [–] 25 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    It's perfect!

    I've wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard "engage the tractor beam".

    Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn't progressed that much since then anyway.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

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  • [+] 14 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
    [removed by mod]
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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it

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  • [+] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn't even know I had.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago
    [–] 8 points 2 years ago*

    "Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting"

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

    Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

    When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process "getting a green card" on account of the new ID badge's color.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    Technically correct

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Well, they can't all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I said "argh" out loud, which means this is is perfect

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    We've gone back in time to season 2!

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.

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