Credit: u/manchesterMan0098

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 223 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Everyone can benefit from a therapist and everyone can benefit from a loving, caring partner.

Who knew?

  • source
  • hideshow 9 child comments
  • [–] 50 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    It definitely does not need to be one or the other. Oftentimes therapy could help in the relationship department considerably. Deep hurt is hard to get through alone, yet I hope more and more people understand there is help out there.
    If relationships are a two way street, and one person is hurting enough to affect their role within it all there should be no shame in reaching out in that way. It could help a lot. It's a shame there's still so much stigma around therapy.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (6 replies)
  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Wait wait wait... You're telling me people need love? Pfft I don't believe it.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
  • load more comments (5 replies)
    [–] 108 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

    I’m a man and I just need a big hairy and muscular chest to lay my head on the end of a very tough day.

    I have no idea what this guy Alex is on about.

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 81 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    So, uh, if this is what men need at the end of the day, what does this guy think women need at the end of their day? Or is it only men "fighting battles" in their day-to-day lives? Because this surely implies that either men are needlessly making things harder for themselves if women somehow manage to avoid daily battles, or that women don't need comfort after their daily battles... and wouldn't that make men, who do need that help, the weaker sex?

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 59 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    See, youre actually missing one key component here. They dont think of women as people. Just baby machines made to please men.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (4 replies)
    [–] 70 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Women: "I want a guy in touch with his feelings."

    Men: "I want a woman I can share my feelings with."

    Internet people: "Women aren't your mommy, go see a therapist with your dumb feelings."

    Me, too moron to interact with human: "Hello kitty, wanna watch King Of the Hill again? Me too, I'll get the blanket."

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 27 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    The guy in the screenshot is not in touch with his feelings.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    It's a gradient, but this particular case is distasteful because the man is expecting his partner to do literally free therapy, rather than work with a professional. It's more akin to treating your partner as an emotional dumping ground than opening up.

    If this is happening in the context of a more equitable relationship, where they both take turns supporting each other, then it's totally different, though.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 69 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Also I guess gay men don't exist. But would not be surprised someone with such a bad take also has bad ideas about queerness

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 52 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I think a modern dysfunction of intergender relationship is an increase in transactional intimacy. Whether it's dating, sex, or emotional, I think a lot of men are paying for their intimacy.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago

    There is a disconnect between people noticing that love is not unconditional, and thinking love is completely transactional.

    Of course if love is never useful for one of the participating parties involved, then this/their love will fade. But people interpret this fact in the way that love should always be exactly as useful for all parties involved all the time.

    But in reality, it should be fine if sometimes maybe one side is more selfish, less giving, sometimes the other side. Sometimes one side gives more emotional support, but the other side is more physically caring. And so on. Love doesn't need to be perfectly equal, it just needs to make all parties involved better than if they were without the love.

    But when you're very competitive and selfish, and it's hard to quantify each person's usefulness to each other, it's easy to always think that what you give is more than what someone else gives. Constantly having arguments about how you think things should be.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    It can easily be a case of personal perception of a relationship, at least my generation was constantly told their only value in life is utilitarian, when that's your mind set you're going to assume that's the only value you have in relationships as well. Again, therapy would help a lot so men can see that their partners do value them outside of their assigned value culture.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 50 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Uhm, having someone care for you is not a "pathological mother figure".

    People need this. Men need this. Asking for care is the most normal thing a person can do.

    And then if something is actually wrong, there is a therapist.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (4 replies)
    [–] 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    "all the battles he fought that day"

    jesus, stop romanticizing having to deal with life dude. guess what, everyone does.

    what are the odds that this guy lost his shit at the man vs bear question.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago

    Obviously the man is better than the bear - all he wants from the woman in the woods is for her to live a life of servitude to him as his psuedo mommy, wife, child producer and lover, because he has epic Viking battles he has to deal with…. of taking the trash to the curb, and waiting in traffic to get to work, because therapy is too expensive, or feminine?

    Lmao

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Women aren't paid enough to be both your bangmaid and your therapist.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 38 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    As a guy, when I was younger, I jumped from relationship to relationship looking for that exact thing. You know what I got for my trouble? Nothing.

    So, during my college years, I spent time by myself, learning how to get by and be okay with surviving without relying on anyone else. It was a farce of course because I was in school, not going to work, but it was close enough.

    I got into the workforce and all of the things I forced myself to learn to be independent from literally everyone, was the pivot point where I was able to stabilize my life and start dating.

    After a while I knew I didn't want someone who needed me. I wanted someone who 100% could do everything that they needed to do on their own, but wanted me around anyways.

    I found what I was looking for. I put a ring on it.

    I don't worry when she goes out in her vehicle that she bought with her own money for her own purposes, that she's going to go find someone "better" because neither of us care about what's "better" than whatever else. I don't have to worry that she'll call and say she needs money because x, y, or z. She has her own money she made, that she can spend however she wants.

    We split household costs, we enjoy eachother company and we value that we aren't relied on by the other for everything. It goes both ways.

    As things have gone, the line between "mine" and "hers" has blurred to the point that, unless it's a high dollar value item, it's just ours. Because bothering to remember who paid for what is a waste of time and effort. Cars, yes, anything else? Probably not.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (6 replies)
    [–] 33 points 1 year ago (1 child)
    load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 30 points 1 year ago

    All the battles you fought that day? Unless you are on the front line in Ukraine you should be able to find a more chill lifestyle.

  • source
  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago

    Twitter is where discourse goes to die

  • source
  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago

    We all need a caring person to nurture and restore our energy. This is a fundamental part of loving someone. Your parents do it when you're young but that does not mean you stop needing it.

    Both of these posters are toxic in different ways.

  • source
  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    If you dont want to both provide and receive caring, nurturing, and intimacy, as needed in a relationship, stay single.

    That is the entire point. "to have and to hold" isn't a nearly universal marriage vow for nothing, even if it's a lie when said by many of either sex.

    Sadly, as with virtually everything in society, relationships and marriage after a lovely but brief enlightened period are regressing back to a transactional business arrangement and not something based in mutual love, warts and all. Sucks to suck.

  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • load more comments (5 replies)
    [–] 25 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Why is he genderizing therapy? Do men not have brains?

    I'm a man. I don't need therapy because I don't want to. That's different. I need therapy, I just don't want to.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    Going from "men need intimacy" to "manchild wants a mommy" is toxic masculinity on the second guy's part.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (6 replies)
    [–] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Freud would have a field day with this dude.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 21 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    "I dont need therapy, I just need to have a woman that reminds me of my mother and will fuck me"

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 19 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    I don't like legitimizing Freud cause like all his ideas that permeated popular culture are total bull but holy shit, paging Dr Freud.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 19 points 1 year ago (15 children)

    I wonder if there's a market for male-centric therapy. As in "I've got a loada wood that needs chopping. Come chop wood with me and we'll talk about stuff". You know, give 'em something to do with their hands while they talk. Obviously you probably couldn't do that with someone who's known for being aggressive and has a criminal record, but someone who has trouble talking about their feelings and doesn't feel comfortable just sitting in a room or on a Teams call and would rather feel like they're accomplishing something.

  • source
  • hideshow 15 child comments
  • load more comments (15 replies)
    [–] 18 points 1 year ago* (7 children)

    “All the battles he fought that day” sir your target audience mostly works in air conditioned offices with a coffee machine five feet from their desks, calm down.

  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • load more comments (7 replies)
    [–] 17 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    My dude has a point. Dudes need to figure out how to talk about their issues rather than expecting whatever woman is nearest to be their mom.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 17 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I don't think therapy is a particularly good substitute for having loved ones you can be intimate with. Nor is relationships necessarily tools for learning to deal with every dysfunction that one could have.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 17 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    Men can always care for each other and stop expecting women to do all the work.

  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Yeah this is something I’ve been trying to walk the talk about.

    I joined an adults sports league and have a few friends I call almost daily on rotation (whether they want it or not lol) and I’ve started feeling a lot more fulfilled and less anxious.

    Most of those friends expect my calls now, and I get questioned if I can’t make it to a practice or game. It feels good to have your presence desired, whether it’s in a romantic or platonic relationship. There’s an epidemic of men who think that that void can only be filled with a lover.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
  • load more comments (5 replies)

    Who needs therapy when you can foist off all of your emotional needs on one person?

  • source
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago* (11 children)

    Ok let me go, men, stop fighting battles no one asked you to, your lame ass warrior complex undermines your potential for kindness.

  • source
  • hideshow 11 child comments
  • load more comments (11 replies)
    load more comments
    view more: next ›