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Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police (startrek.website)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] 410 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

Yeah, pigs don't like to be corrected. Or made to look like they don't know what they're doing.

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  • [–] 271 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    And they absolutely hate ever doing anything about bicycle theft in particular.

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  • [–] 42 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    I have heard that very often. I wonder if bikes are harder to track down than other property for some reason.

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  • [–] 128 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    They only care about property loss when it involves rich people.

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  • [–] 48 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Which proves that cops really DO actually do their jobs.

    Because protecting the property of the rich is the exact core purpose of policing.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Technically it’s maintaining social order. So get back to work menials or be reported to the Enforcers for organized discontent.

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  • [–] 66 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Given the number of times I've seen cops on police forums and r/protectandserve use terms like "bikefags", I think it's just the typical cop disgust of anything they perceive to be weak or effeminate.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Yeah, I don't get that. Bicycling requires strength and endurance. It exposes you to the elements. Why is sitting in a cushy car something some people think as being more macho? Is it that you're in control of a heavier and more powerful machine?

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    Bicycling requires strength and endurance.

    So does cleaning a house, but that's "women's work".

    Is it that you're in control of a heavier and more powerful machine?

    That's it. You didn't get it at first because made the mistake of associating manliness with things like patience, strength, hard work, endurance both of toil and hardship; all things that do make up ideals of manliness to normal people. But you need to approach it from the perspective of a wastrel, a weak, foolish, and lazy person who demands the respect and deference of being manly without putting in the hard work—something he has avoided all his life. He might praise hard work in abstract, but he has no discipline for it and doesn't respect those who actually do it, he just considers them beneath him. To such a person, the defining aspect of manliness and machismo is mastery, mastery over others and their wills, and since mastery through work is a waste of time to him, he turns to shortcuts.

    From there, it's not hard to see where the thought process goes. Since strength is to him based on control and mastery, he picks something that gives him more command over the road in a direct and in-your-face way. The man who drives a lifted Ram 2500 can confront you by running you the fuck over. By contrast, in his opinion, cyclists are entitled jackasses in miniscule booty shorts who can only confront you on the road by screaming "CRITICAL MASS! FUCKING CAGER!" and throwing sparkplugs at your windows. The difference in power dynamic is proof enough to our friend of who the "real man" is.

    To take the mentality to its conclusion, the easiest way to gain mastery in general is through authority, and the easiest way to get that, even easier than joining a gang, is by becoming a cop.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    smaller, therefore easier to hide. Not registered with a central authority like, for example, cars.

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  • [–] 43 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    There’s plenty of cases where they don’t look for cars either.

    Or the cops themselves just straight up steal the car themselves.

    My wife’s car was ordered to be towed by, according to the impound lot, the police.

    Neat thing was that there was no ticket with the car, no police station within 3 miles had a record of a ticket for her or the car, and the area she had parked had no signs that suggested it was illegal to park where she did, nor does the city have any ordinance about overnight parking.

    Best we can figure, is a cop or the tow company that works with the city, just decided to tow a car for funsies and the 500 bucks it took to get it out of impound.

    The police and every organization associated with them are corrupt to the core.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    There is bike registration. https://bikeindex.org

    It’s helped track down bike trafficking gangs sending bikes to Mexico. The police just don’t care at all

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Love bikeindex, I actually got my stolen bike back thanks to that site. It was literally two years later but still, the police wouldn't have even made a report probably in the city I was at, with bike theft so ubiquitous.

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  • [–] 25 points 2 years ago

    I'm pretty sure any petty theft is very hard to track down. Not just bikes, if someone broke into your house and stole some minor things it's almost certainly not gonna get found. Bikes are the same, it's very easy to resell them and repaint, and nobory registers bikes.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Because even if they look for it and find it, whoever is riding just says it theirs and there is literally nothing the police can do unless it was caught on video or there is a meaningful identifying feature like a serial number or something else specific and unique.

    Seeing a sketchy guy with a black and red bike with the same bike rack you had isn't enough to prove anything.

    If an officer approached me riding my bike around and asked me to prove it's mine, I couldn't either despite not being a thief.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago*

    Anything that's not serialized and recorded is basically impossible to find. If you have serial numbers then they can inform local pawn shops, but even then the shops probably aren't checking serials for anything under $500.

    And if the thief just sells it on craigslist then no one is checking serials.

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  • [–] 31 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I reported my bike stolen in college and I got a call the next day that they had found it parked in front of a nearby church.

    It was stolen on a Sunday. I guess someone didn't want to be late to service.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    It probably depends a lot on where you live. My wife's bike got stolen and she was woken up by police coming to check on it (one of the maintenance guys at our apartment noticed a man at 7-Eleven riding it and recognized it; came back running to check if it's indeed missing and called the police). We fully expected the police would do nothing about it (it was the cheapest Walmart bike), but an hour later they called that they found the bike and have the culprit in custody. It did help that the bike was a girly mint green with a wicker basket, so they instantly recognized it when they saw it.

    Then again, in San Francisco, when my wife got her car window smashed and wallet stolen (she was late for class and dropped her wallet under the car seat, didn't stop to take it; but it wasn't the wallet that caught the thieves' attention, it was the breast pump bag that looked like a laptop bag; they threw it on the floor when they saw what it was), we never heard anything back from the police.

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  • [–] 98 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Fun fact. Cops on average have lower IQ and often fail literacy tests. Furthermore it appears that critical thinking is discouraged in the job, with candidates being selected who lack critical thinking abilities over those that have them.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Certain departments specifically have IQ tests, in order to ensure you aren’t smart enough to easily get a better job elsewhere.

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  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago

    I think it's more nefarious than that. Many departments want a good 'ol boys club where they're the ultimate authority and they want their officers to fall in line rather than question department actions.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    This internet myth has got to die. ONE case in ONE department, a quarter century ago, does not mean it's a practice.

    https://www.nytimes.com/1999/09/09/nyregion/metro-news-briefs-connecticut-judge-rules-that-police-can-bar-high-iq-scores.html

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