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If a married man says he’s only married on paper, what are the chances he’s just cheating? (lemmy.world)
submitted 23 hours ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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We just met, so I don’t know him that well, but he was honest from the beginning. He says he’s still married because of their son, and because his wife doesn’t want to get divorced right now. Apparently, South Korea has a fault-based divorce system. TIL.

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[–] 36 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

My multi-year girlfriend is still technically married. She lives with me and no longer talks to her "husband". The problem is literally don't know where he is to serve papers. She thinks he is somewhere in Oklahoma but doesn't know and doesn't have an address. Can't get divorce without serving him(giving him official papers saying divorce is requested).

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  • [–] 5 points 11 hours ago* (1 child)

    Most places have Service by Publication, including Oklahoma.

    She would need to file the petition, and then run a legal notice in a paper that serves that county, and that would count. Doesn't matter if he ever actually sees or responds to it. She will have fulfilled her legal obligation for service.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 hours ago (1 child)

    Might be if it really mattered. It's a paper and a party, I don't care either way.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 child)

    It’s also a lot of legal rights and privileges. And in many places it’s also a default inheritance. If something were to happen to her, you would have no rights to make any decisions. Her husband would. Her assets would become his.

    Even if you aren’t interested in being married, it’s in her best interest to actually finalize the divorce to avoid a litany of issues.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago (1 child)

    True, especially with the child.

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  • [–] 24 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

    One would think a judge would allow her to serve notice in the local newspapers in a situation like that if the dude is even alive.

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  • [–] 11 points 18 hours ago (1 child)

    Every country is different, of course, but I was wondering how is that different from divorcing from a missing person that from all you know could be dead.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 hours ago (1 child)

    Being dead or MIA is a very specific and powerful state of being where most laws completely change. Being alive but not known (to you) where they live is completely different. The system will show them as alive and paying taxes but accessing and sharing address and contact information without permission is various levels of illegal and will get flagged

    Best bet is private investigators. They still exist and are good at OSint and tracking people down by the faintest trails

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  • [–] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 child)

    I asked how it works in Spain, I was really curious. Here you start the process in front of a judge that can last up to two years where the other person is declared "in rebellion" so the process can proceed without having to give further notification.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 hour ago

    That sounds like a pretty good system. Just give a time limit notice where the divorce will proceed. One of the reasons I never marry even in long term relationships. It's a huge pain to break up

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  • [–] 6 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

    Could be an Oklahoma thing. In my state, you can just run it in the local paper if you don't have an address. They have 30 days to respond. OK is pretty backwards when it comes to women's rights though.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 hours ago

    Even worse is we live in Texas which is even more backwards. The marriage was done in Texas, she got pregnant and he ran away to ok but kid is about to be 13 and has never seen his bio-dad. There should be a law like "if either party abandons the other for 5 years the marriage is null and void by default"

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