Its interesting how you interpreted their premises:

1. A lot of men are rapists even though you aren't.
2. Be kind.
3. Continue to fight the rapists

As "if you don't want people to hate you, you need to hate yourself". I don't understand where you are getting this take from these three premises, could you further explain?

You can't argue people into liking you. It doesn't work like that.

You can argue people into tolerating you, that's what the queer and civil rights movements have been doing. But once you're tolerated, arguing doesn't get you any farther. If you want to be liked, you need to be kind.

You should only hate yourself if you would rape or otherwise harm the woman in the woods.

Everything else is irrelevant.

“If you don’t want people to hate you, you need to hate yourself”. Is that the message you want to send to people?

Where did they say this?? I see nothing telling anyone to hate themselves. They're saying to fight rapists and that doing so will give men a better reputation. Please explain what you mean by "need to hate yourself"

@reliv3@lemmy.world said:

[...] but for me (who is a man) that [your comment about women being cautious "giving men lasting mental health issues and extreme social anxiety"] is not how it affects me. The fact that there exists a lot of mysogonistic men doesn’t reflect on me. I am confident that I’d be one of the men who’d just leave a woman alone if we ever met in the woods, so knowing that there are a lot of men out their who wouldn’t doesn’t get me salty at the women who are fearful of them; but rather, it gets me salty at the shithead men out there who are ultimately the root of the women’s fear.

which is a based take