[–] [S] 2 points 8 months ago

Please note that I have the new tab tray and toolbar active.

Well so far the changes I noticed are:

The "Inactive tabs" section has a new design.

Refresh, backwards and forwards buttons show up now in landscape mode.

Aside from these, pretty much the same.

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Oh, my bad. I'm so sorry. I'm not an expert on these things (obviously) I apologize if my comment is somehow offensive. I'm aware that autism is not an mental disorder. I thought it was like the way one's brain is wired that causes them to have slightly different perception than the rest.

    I just decided to group it and other mental illnesses together because I... don't know dude I was just lazy I guess.

    I am so sorry again. I meant no harm.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 1 year ago

    I had the exact same experience. It just felt so... eerie, you know? As you said, like I was in her skin involuntarily.

    It really is eerie. I guess it comes from the fact that we are basically observers that can't do anything to her. I don't know maybe the lack of a face to accociate the life that is laid before us is what causes this.

    I heard lots of worse stories that happened to people that I at least know what they look like. The posts on r/alone are just text. You don't know for sure if the post is someone's real life or not. Uncertainty. Combine that with a depressing story and BOOM! Eerie feeling.

    I'm just speculating though all of this might very well be bullshit.

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    I remember that on Reddit, a few years ago, there was a woman on a subreddit.

    I was just looking what was on Reddit and doomscrolling r/shitposting for 20 minutes was more than enough. I decided to just type-in random words to the URL bar to see what subreddits I would stumble upon.

    After lots of private and NSFW subs, finally I ended up on r/alone and I found this lady in the sea of "i wanna kill myself soooo baddddd" posts.

    The lady was autistic if I remember collectly. She had a boyfriend who also had a mental ilness. Unlike her though, he was violent. He would scream at her for pointless things and shit.

    The lady was always confused. At least she seemed so to me. Which is probably the autism. She had a hamster cage and had a brain-injured hamster that she kept because it was sick in the head just like her, as she put it.

    Have no idea what happened to her. I still think about her sometimes. It just felt so sad.

    [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I guess you can become like that? I remember times when I took all the shit to heart. I wasn't told much though just like "your nose is big" silly stuff like that hurts when it is the only bad thing you hear though so I hope you understand.

    I'm actually both sad and glad I am this way. On one hand it feels great to untouchable by words and y'know just live the life.

    But... it feels like I lose something when I am, in my own terms, a wall. It's like... yeah I have a spine (not to say you don't I'm so sorry if it came out that way) but it just feels like... I sometimes hurt people along the way.

    I saw your latest post about your partner David and his friend Sean and I'm sad to say I have a friend whom I treat the way Sean treats you parther.

    Now I don't know anything about any of you but I can safely say in my case the guy is a dick who doesn't respect my boundaries.

    Obvious thing to do for me is to cut ties with the guy. And I did. Albeit with hesitation. There is this little thought in my head that lingers "am I a dick?".

    The guy is pretty messed up. He lost his father long ago and probably has schizophrenia. That is why I feel bad. And... why I kind of envy you.

    Anyway the point is, you can fix yourself. I have found it's to be optimistic and be aware of the greater things going on around you. It makes you think that whatever happens to you, is so small in compared to the great things around you that they are ultimately pointless.

    How you might do that? Well I don't know I read fiction books all my life my brain just turned that way. I guess you could do the same. Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I've been reading your posts and... I'm quite unsure whether or not this is appropriate to ask. Well just don't answer if you don't want to.

    What does it feel like to... be like you? Like your resentment towards those who wronged you?

    I have no mental disorders (apparently) but I was raised in a rather interesting way. That being, stuck in a small social circle with nothing but books. I'm 19 right now and my whole life was just people patting me on my back for being smart. No real connections whatsoever.

    I understand the conditions that people such as yourself go through but I literally can not grasp my mind around the concept that one would feel resentment towards another. Obviously people hate each other but what talking about is still thinking about that person's effect on you while they are not there.

    Just to be clear, I am not saying any of this as means to devalue or insult you. I literally don't understand. When one talks shit about me I just say "whoopsie oppsie!" and go on.

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    Ten minutes ago, I was watching the moon while listening to music. Specifically, "My Castle Town" by Toby Fox. And I just started crying. Tears of joy. I realized just how much I enjoy living. The pretty view of The Moon, the beautiful melody...

    I never had any bad things happen to me. I love my parents because they are loving and kind, no trauma whatsoever, had depression once but I sent it away shortly. Lots of hospital visits though. But nothing serious. No girlfriends, no love pains etc.

    I have basically nothing in my hands right now. But I'm always able craft new hobbies when I run out of them. By the mere power of imagination. In fact, I'm looking to learn French now because English was easy as fuck.

    But while I enjoy life very much, I realize that I begin to distance myself from those that do not think the same. For instance, one of my friends never takes any joy from anything that he does. Say; complains about not having a girlfriend, being ugly etc. etc. He's the most handsome person I've ever seen in person. And girls just straight up lust over him. Yet, he insists on focussing on the negative. Which makes zero sense to me. Why is he ruining his own life by refusing to see the good?

    Now I do realize that most people are not as lucky as me to be with absolutely no problems in their lives. However, I had the "basic" set of problems that men my age have. Those being:

    • Like a girl but she rudely refuses you (or even insults)
    • Argue with parents

    And my "friends" are always so offended by these problems all they do is complaining about them non-stop. One even tried to kill himself over a girl. I genuinely can't warp my head around this. Why? When I encountered these things I never cared or at worst deluded my way out.

    Why can't people just sit down and appreciate life? When I'm sitting down waiting for something, the mere ability to move my limbs seems fascinating to me. I get out of so many things.

    Don't get me wrong I don't mean any of this as seeing myself above others. (Although I do have a massive ego.)

    Meanwhile, I will watch the Moon.

     

    Until yesterday I used to have long hair. Due to unusually high tempetures I started having problems with the skin on my head. So, to avoid problems. I shaved it clean and it will remain that way until the skin in treated.

    Now that I'm bald, I now know what's it's like. It sucks. My old hair suited me perfectly. It was messy just the right amount, perfect length, made me look different than the rest and handsome as hell. Every girl would look at me where ever I went to. Compliments floating over the air, jealous looks from other men etc. etc. It made me feel powerful.

    But most importantly, it suited my personality and clothing. It was perfect! But now it's gone. I hate bald me. I will never look back at this bald version of myself.

    It feels weird. I don't feel that bad but still it's disheartening.

     

    Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

    Basically, I am adored by everybody.

    But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

    However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

    Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

    It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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