Anonymized data can inform funding decisions, as well as collect medical data like side effects, failure rates, and demographic information that is useful for research and policymaking. That's not what this government will use it for, but under normal circumstances there are genuinely good reasons to collect that data.

Army Tactical Missile Systems (ATACMS)

Count on the army to refer to their missiles as "attack 'em"s.

That's not a duck. It's an Ameridactyl!

Well, he would be the expert on unnecessary invasions...

Mitch McConnell must have been his last horcrux.

Halfthor Bjornsson as Rei.

A lot of people probably simply aren't interested in going to an outdoor event during a record-breaking heatwave.

Yes, because women are entitled to make decisions about their own bodies. Glad you're following along.

My parents used to have to periodically replace their mailbox because drivers kept running over it. That stopped when they put 2 foot tall boulder next to it.

Close! You're confusing Luke 18:15-17 for one of the Beatitudes.

"15 One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him.

16 Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 17 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”"

"Data analyst finds that "diarrhea stigma" in bakeries can reduce the number of reviews a cake gets by around 53%--and the reviews it does get are more negative."

Stop putting diarrhea in the cake and people will both review them more often and review them more highly.

Coffee shops (but who hangs out there?)

Growing up during the Starbucks boom, coffee shops were absolutely a place to hang out after school. There was probably one a short walk or drive from school, and for less than $5 you could grab a sugary drink or a pastry and hang out in a comfortable indoor space with a few friends. Heck, one of your friends probably worked there. It worked great for high schoolers because there wasn't any alcohol (so minors could be there), you didn't have to be as quiet as a library, and you could head there regardless of the weather. COVID has probably changed a lot of that as coffee shops focus more on drive throughs and mobile orders, not to mention inflation.