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[–] 163 points 2 years ago (4 children)

As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you're buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

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  • [–] 106 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you're cruel.

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  • [–] 57 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

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    [–] 67 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm going with the classic:

    Pringles can

    Gloves

    Sponge

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  • [–] 53 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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    [–] 39 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    How to end up on a watchlist:

    Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone

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    [–] 37 points 2 years ago

    Gun, bleach, get well card.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    Kid's backpack, kid's lunchbox, and a gun.

    The back to school in America special.

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  • [–] 30 points 2 years ago

    Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.

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  • [–] 29 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.

    uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb

    reminder people, do NOT mix bleach with ammonia based cleaners to "speed up cleaning". youll accidentally speed up life

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    Why doesn't this happen when I piss in bleach

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • I'm good at this

    Alligator clamps
    Belt
    Laxatives

    Shipping boxes
    Meat cleaver
    Adult diapers

    Birth control
    Bucket
    Bleach

    Night vision goggles
    Fingerless gloves
    Bubble bath

    Massager
    Leather boots
    Farady cage EMP bag

    Zip ties
    Meat grinder
    Swim goggles

    Funnel
    Butt lifting suit
    Rope

    Prescription strength deodorant
    Dog crate
    Sorry for your loss card

    Wooden cross
    Ammo
    Jock strap

    Okay, actually it's just a script I wrote.

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  • [–] 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:

    1. Plan B pill

    2. Giant "9" balloon

    3. Vodka.

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    [–] 24 points 2 years ago* (7 children)

    I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.

    Oh yeah, also had a similar experience with spray paint.

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    [–] 24 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Gun, ammunition, balaclava

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    [–] 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department

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  • [–] 49 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I mean it's more likely that they just don't give a shit anymore.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don't care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn't have any idea.

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    [–] 17 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Car battery

    Jumper cables

    Duct tape

    If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!

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    [–] 17 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Sodium Hydroxide, hacksaw, large trash can

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Whiskey, hammer, baby rattle.

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    [–] 15 points 2 years ago

    Chlorine, ammonia and a large plastic tub

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  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago

    Rope, duck tape, and a tarp.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Shovel, biodegradable garbage bags and zip ties.

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    [–] 13 points 2 years ago

    Toaster, bathtub plug, pop tarts

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I’m very disappointed. I couldn’t find any cardboard tubes at my local Walmart.

    Anyway:

    1. Cardboard tube, at least 3” in diameter
    2. Gerbil food
    3. Candlesticks
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    [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    Small plastic bags, rubber bands and viagra. (does Walmart sell viagra?)

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    "The 100 piece puzzles were too hard..."

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    Screws, hammer, sledgehammer

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    A gallon of blood, tampons, and a Popsicle kit.

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    [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    Apples, razor blades, carmel

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