That's exactly what the Weeping Angels (or SCP-173) would want!
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Looking more and more like the thing from Pan's Labyrinth every day...
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I like to imagine that during these freezes, he’s actually having out of body experiences wherein he visits Hell, and sees the fiery fate and torments that awaits him when finally slips this mortal coil.
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His entire team of staffers should be convicted on elder abuse.
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For a second I thought The Onion had become an actual news site.
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"does anyone else hear a dial tone?".
the photo just does that
This article is written like an episode of Nightvale.
This is a top tier onion article. Up there with the hyperbolic chamber !
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He's like an old, cold Medusa.
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