all 24 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 50 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

That's exactly what the Weeping Angels (or SCP-173) would want!

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 29 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Looking more and more like the thing from Pan's Labyrinth every day...

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    I'm a marine biologist. It's obvious he's moulting.
    Its his radical final moult, metamorphosing from an aquatic nymph to a winged adult

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Is that why he must consume the souls of all the children? For energy for the metamorphosis?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    No, that's silly.
    He consumes souls to power the deep machines in the darkness.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I like to imagine that during these freezes, he’s actually having out of body experiences wherein he visits Hell, and sees the fiery fate and torments that awaits him when finally slips this mortal coil.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    His entire team of staffers should be convicted on elder abuse.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    For a second I thought The Onion had become an actual news site.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago

    "does anyone else hear a dial tone?".

    the photo just does that

  • source
  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago

    This article is written like an episode of Nightvale.

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    This is a top tier onion article. Up there with the hyperbolic chamber !

  • source
  • [+] 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
    [removed by mod]
  • source
  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    He's like an old, cold Medusa.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago