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Republicans Urge Americans To Look Away From McConnell Or Else They Too Shall Freeze (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by [M] to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] 18 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

I'm a marine biologist. It's obvious he's moulting.
Its his radical final moult, metamorphosing from an aquatic nymph to a winged adult

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Is that why he must consume the souls of all the children? For energy for the metamorphosis?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    No, that's silly.
    He consumes souls to power the deep machines in the darkness.

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