friends, I went to see this motherfucker perform this album live on tour.

Context: In addition to all the other lies he's told about his mythology (CIA asset, martial arts trained, whatever), he's also 120% Jamaican. If you add that up with all his other bogus claims about racial heritage, the man is over 1000% human. So of course he's able to do almost anything and super cool. Plus he shot a dog on that show where he played law enforcement, which is about the coolest thing anyone's done.

He's basically a god.

I can never take Jason Statham seriously in his action movies after learning he was a painted up rave dancer in the background of multiple 90s music videos.

Me want da punani see for make me nice,
Me love the way you walk sometimes,
The way you talk is so hot,
Now you know let's have a shot of rum,
Then me can make you come
With me to the ocean
That would be phat
You can be my bow cat
Nice ital breeze
Bring you to your knees
We're jammin'

Now go have a look at Chet Hanks (the spawn of Tim Hanks) many interviews in a Patois accent.

I don’t even know how I feel about things like this either. On the one hand it’s pretty cringe, but on the other can you imagine growing up with Tom Hanks as your dad, it’s a tough act to follow and it must be hard to find yourself.

when the girls start to strut, and you look at her butt, you shouldn't do thaaat

Here ya go:

https://open.spotify.com/track/7AMX299eQzkQBqQ4vJp6Y4?si=4_61Tc7dQdKsHpznfqj1DA

Calling Jamaican English oder Patois an accent is a tiny bit derogatory, because it is its own language. It has its roots firmly in English, but it's not just "haha talk funny".

Not that Steven Seagull would care. Or should have tried to sing in Jamaican English. Or sing at all. Or do anything besides sit in prison forever.

I am listening to this right now and holy shit.

It's not completely awful as I had assumed it would be. I mean the man can't act for shit, so I wouldn't have thought he could sing either. Especially in an accent.