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[–] 174 points 2 years ago (12 children)

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm an American, and I've never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.

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  • [–] 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    They are often called "resource officers" and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).

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    [–] 58 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

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  • [–] 46 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I have a special hatred for school police officers.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Me too, although it's slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Ours got a kick over charging kids with felonies that would follow them the rest of their lives.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    School Resource Officers can't charge kids with felonies only a prosecutor can do that. A cop can arrest someone. Now you might think I'm being pedantic but I think it is an important distinction. Many times we blame cops and completely over look the fact that some of the blame lies with the prosecutor.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Yeah, but even if they're arrested and the charges are dropped, they still have an arrest on their record, which many/most colleges ask about on their applications.

    Watch the John Oliver episode about School Resource Officers, you'll see one girl arrested and charged (I believe they dropped it though) with a felony/bomb charge for popping her water bottle cap like we used to do in school (y'know, twist the bottle, and then unscrew the cap and it pops off).

    Another kid, special needs, was arrested and manhandled because he lightly carved "[Name] was here" into a concrete wall, which his mother had him come back and clean off. John put the kids name on his wall so that everyone would know "a legend was here," which is the reason the kid gave for why he did it in the first place.

    Schools don't need cops, they need social workers, counselors, and proper funding. Not a chode with a gun and an authority fetish. Our school officer used to make friends with all the kids dealing drugs/getting in fights, while our principals/vice principals would scream at kids to take their hoodies off. And they wonder why kids think school is a joke.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    If your expected to empty this everyday you'll eventually end up being diabetic.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Cirrhosis of the liver will get you first.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Pfft. You're underestimating the human liver.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    If we're not joking, I kind of think the liver would go first. Unless your mixing it to like a 4% ABV, then maybe the beetus might get ya first.

    Honestly there is a good chance you stress your liver out so much that the sugar and your food (bc let's be honest, your probably not eating healthy either) gets turned into a shitload of triglycerides and you stroke out or have a heart attack from too long of hyperlipidemia.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    Sugar free coke would be the way to go.

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  • [–] 22 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    The hell is a school police officer??

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    In the good ol USA, schools often have what's called a school resource officer. Meant to be the connection between school kids and the police department, they have been useful for truancy and other problems that happen with students ( esp. high school age) at schools.

    Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

    Well that was the idea anyways

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    [–] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Is not it supposed to be chilled? By noon it will be warm, and drinking warm coke is just disgusting, unless it is mostly alcohol, and then you would just not remember.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Had one of those at a previous job once Got stolen after a few days

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago
    [–] 5 points 2 years ago
    [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Stop lying. You know you're a kindergarten teacher.

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