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[–] 92 points 2 years ago (4 children)

If I woke up as a woman, regardless of who that woman is, I would masturbate.

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  • [–] 30 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I would masturbate.

    This is how I answer most hypotheticals

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    What if you woke up as your grandpa.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'd fart in a position so the fart bubbles through my pussy lips and giggle uncontrollably.

    Then probably eat Taco Bell and repeat a couple times.

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  • [–] 51 points 2 years ago

    *take a 15 minute flight in my jet to get some fresh bread

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  • [–] 33 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Post nudes on 4chan. See if they can tell if they're real

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  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago (34 children)

    Check myself out nude and then start working on a Norwegian black metal album.

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    [–] 30 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Well first I got up I had a piece of toast.. then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago

    Taking my top off? It's what our do regardless of who I woke up as though.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    100% I'm masturbating and checking myself out in the mirror while doing so.

    Then I'd buy myself all the things I wanted (assuming I wake up in her life and not just her body in my life).

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    [–] 14 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    why am I seeing Taylor Swift everywhere? Is she running for presidency?

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago

    Look in the mirror and check out boobies obviously!

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    Honestly find how the real Taylor felt about actual issues and her fans as best as possible and then just put it out as a press piece.

    No more false figurehead that their conscious only exists as the imaginary paradox of all of their believers. People love to talk on her behalf on how she feels about things and it always seems to agree with them.
    I am breaking the swifties and giving a real person to look at and not a mascot.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    Trying to figure out who the fuck I am.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    Freak out because I only know one of her songs and I'm about to go on stage.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    Presumably im being spooned by that sports man, so Id rip a massive fart on his dick and balls, then go to the dunny.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    Transfer all wealth and assets to socialist causes, liquidize what I can and have. Have a stiff drink. Record a video where I declare myself loyal to the anticapitalist cause and the steps I took so far. All houses are now open to be ransacked come and get it.

    Then I dunno, turn the swifties into a paramilitary organization that will join the struggle against the capitalist class.

    That would be a pretty good day.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    Well I would go to the loo then brush my teeth and then have a shower.

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    [–] 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I would give all of my money to my (real) family then kill myself.

    Not because I dislike Taylor Swift, she just has the complete opposite life I want. I do not like attention. I am not an extrovert. I despise people.

    This is actually kind of a nightmare to think about lol.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago* (15 children)

    Maybe not the first, but I'd want to make sure her music talent was part of the deal, otherwise its all downhill from here.

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    [–] 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Run for president. Don't think she'd be a good president, but she may be able to laminate Trump

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    [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    Has anyone said masterbate furiously yet?

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago

    Step up to the guillotine

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  • Give away all but $10m and then just chill on a farm in anonymity on my ones.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago

    I'd put a picture of myself on Facebook setting fire to a MAGA hat and give conservatives the stroke they've been winding up for about T Swizzle for the last six weeks.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Sue every billionair for being billionaires and affecting the lives of poor folks (now that i have the monwy to go to court)

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    Transfer $100 mil to my old self's bank account. I don't know if this body swap is permanent.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    I'm with the bread lover. Eat bread first, then pee, then get dressed.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Having an identity crysis.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Eat babies. No wait, that's Johnathan Swift.

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