When I was a manager, I did my own damn firing. Not because I enjoyed it, but because the people that worked for me were people, not an employee number. It was genuinely hard, so I damn well thought about it before I shitcanned them.
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Last time I got laid off I got the email that I was being laid off three hours before my call with HR. Headquarters was on Eastern Time, so the layoff emails went out around 9am ET, but I was on a team that was mostly on Pacific Time so my call was after 9am PT. And I'm on Atlantic, so this was 10am and 1pm, and I was off that day. The clueless HR person offered me a moment to collect myself at the start of the call, as if I hadn't already had plenty of time for that. Just one big annoyance.
Thanking an employee for joining before termination sounds insincere and odd. I understand it's to appear polite however I don't think it should be best practice.
A more appropriate opening would be "Hi X, I have some difficult news to share."
HR are professional gaslighters, that is literally their job.
Human Resources.
You, the human, a resource, for a company.
Their job is to manage and modify your behavior, as a resource, cattle with feelings.
...they are literally professional gaslighters.
It's now "people and culture."
I am writing to you today to inform you that I do not care.
Have a great day! =D
- When we all sing together, we sing in harmony
Hello sp3ctr4l,
We do not appreciate your tone as it doesn't fit in our culture of respecting and hailing to corporate.
We will be writing you up for insubordination, violating our respect in the work place policy, and poor performance.
Here is your improvement action report.
Regards,
I hope this message finds you well,
... as that would be quite something, given that your office apparently ... burst into flames, not too long ago?
You ok?
As per our previous emails, I'll be reporting that to the city fire marshall as well, as you really would think a sprinkler system of some kind would have tiggered.
I'm sure you don't still keep that pannini press in your office, so my only guess would be some kind of electrical outlet or breaker is not up to code.
Anyway, I'll look over the IAR when I get back from the vacation I am currently on.
proceeds to call company lawyers
Hey sp3ctr4l, Please sit down. I have some difficult news to share. Unfortunately the company has decided to end your employment effective today. You will get your record of employment by email and enclosed is your package. Please sign and return as soon as possible.
Security will escort you out.
Bye.
proceeds to add sp3ctr4l onto the unsuitable candidates list
[Auto-Reply]:
Hey, appreciate the message, I'm currently on vacation.
I'll respond as soon as I return to work!
has security pack your office
has IT block sp3ctr4l from laptop, email, accounts, key fobs, other accounts, etc
I will wait patiently for your return.
I was working as a contractor for a company, and two of us were told that we'd be moved to permanent roles but it kept getting blocked higher up.
It then became obvious why, because then they announced they are cutting all contractors and I heard they were moving our roles to a region where it's cheaper to pay salaries.
Then we all get called into this large meeting with our team members and some adjacent teams as some form of farewell. The meeting host starts off with something like, we have a few people that will be leaving us soon so let's go around and share some happy memories and what you enjoyed about working for [Company Name].
Yeah I just straight up left the meeting at that point.
I've heard the whole "this position can change to permanent" story so many times, where it doesn't. It should be illegal to make promises like that and not follow through.
Our manager tried, a few times, but the process got blocked further up.
I would have started as perm but there was some odd internal policy and the person who hired me in, a friend of a friend, mentioned that HR do not like it when someone gets hired and get a salary that is more than 15% of their previous salary.
I fell into that category, but they were willing to pay a day rate that ended up well exceeding what they would have paid me as perm... probably about 30%+. But then it would have been more difficult to get rid of me.
So the plan was to get me in as contract, get a decent day rate and then move over to perm after 6 months and use that day rate to negotiate a decent salary. Then the boss of that area changed, and when he came on he said he was not going to make changes, just observe. A total lie that is obviously a lie.
An HR rep once told me to "have a nice day" after firing me.
I have had to do the termination not that long ago, it’s not that great for the other side either, thanking them for joining and not avoiding the meeting is mot insincere, it would be way more awkward if the employee would be avoiding the meeting
I had someone on my team who we had to let go for not showing up to work, and it took 3 tries to just get him to join the call. For the backstory, he basically didn't work for ~9 months into the pandemic when we were all working from home. He wasn't very productive when we'd be in the office, but when WFH, he seemed to only do work when we were on our one on ones, and it got to the point where I had to schedule a 3 hour call every day to motivate him to do work. Eventually he stopped showing up to most of those and was wasn't getting anything done, and wasn't fair to everyone else on the team picking up the slack. Sucked for everyone involved.
So they knew it was coming.
The HR person will get fired if the facial recognition sees her not smiling like that.
Anne's smile is so perfect it almost looks AI, bro
This photo cracks me up every time I see it. Perfectly uncanny psychotic expression.
"Perfect" isn't the first thing that comes to mind unless it's "perfectly off-putting".
Hard disagree. She's such a lovely person and beautiful smiler. The personality enhances the smile a lot for me, I think.
But I guess in this context, a better choice of word would be "symmetrical", for the purpose of describing the "AI" quality? 😅
It's nothing against her personally, but unfortunately my brain is a visual indexer par excellence, I see her face and this pops in my mind instantly:

I can see that, lol. We all have our connotations I guess 😅
Another woman with interesting features is Rachel Cruze, to me she's a Dr Seuss character. Adorably cute.
I had to look her up, I find her to be alright.
If I'm brutally honest, I don't like her teeth. She had baby teeth, very short teeth, and the tooth-to-gum ratio is too small. Too much gums.

It looks like she has dentures and I can't unsee that sh—. 😅
My wife has short teeth as well, but just slightly taller, and her gum ratio is spot on. I can't tell you what the ratio should be, I just know what it shouldn't be when I see it 😂🫠 My older boy's ratio is off just like Cruze's, haha. Can't wait to see what his adult teeth will look like...
Or Anne Hathaway when she’s about to sit down for dinner with Epstein and Gates.
A name in the files doesn't mean they were involved in anything.
Care to share the actual allegations other than whatever you pull out of your ass?
Too many teeth in that smile
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