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When HR starts the meeting with ,Thanks for joining (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[–] 11 points 1 day ago (1 child)

Hello sp3ctr4l,

We do not appreciate your tone as it doesn't fit in our culture of respecting and hailing to corporate.

We will be writing you up for insubordination, violating our respect in the work place policy, and poor performance.

Here is your improvement action report.

Regards,

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  • [–] 9 points 1 day ago* (1 child)

    I hope this message finds you well,

    ... as that would be quite something, given that your office apparently ... burst into flames, not too long ago?

    You ok?

    As per our previous emails, I'll be reporting that to the city fire marshall as well, as you really would think a sprinkler system of some kind would have tiggered.

    I'm sure you don't still keep that pannini press in your office, so my only guess would be some kind of electrical outlet or breaker is not up to code.

    Anyway, I'll look over the IAR when I get back from the vacation I am currently on.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    proceeds to call company lawyers

    Hey sp3ctr4l, Please sit down. I have some difficult news to share. Unfortunately the company has decided to end your employment effective today. You will get your record of employment by email and enclosed is your package. Please sign and return as soon as possible.

    Security will escort you out.

    Bye.

    proceeds to add sp3ctr4l onto the unsuitable candidates list

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    [Auto-Reply]:

    Hey, appreciate the message, I'm currently on vacation.

    I'll respond as soon as I return to work!

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  • [–] 3 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    has security pack your office

    has IT block sp3ctr4l from laptop, email, accounts, key fobs, other accounts, etc

    I will wait patiently for your return.

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