I mean, set aside the slavery politics for just a minute, because that's low hanging fruit.
Imagine showing Thomas Jefferson the Hoover Dam. Imagine introducing Thomas Paine to the internet. Imagine George Washington's face illuminated by a mushroom cloud. How fucking dumb do you think Benedict Arnold would feel if you dropped him onto the deck of a US Aircraft Carrier. How flabbergasted would James Madison feel if you explained that we literally call it the "White House", because we never changed the color after the British burned it down. What do you think Patrick Henry would have to say about Social Security?
He would be very interested in the very mature milf and gilf sections we have available.
My favorite writing from any founding father is Ben Franklin writing to a younger friend urging them to take an older mistress. My man had an 8 point presentation on the virtues of fucking older ladies. My favorite saying from this is " In the dark, all cats are grey".
"Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable. "
"Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman. "
"Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience. "
"Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. "
"Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement. "
"Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy. "
"Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy."
They would be horrified about the lack of slavery, women having rights, that we didn't completely wipe out the natives and stuff like that the founders were monsters.
Benjamin Franklin is, by far, one of the most interesting figures in American history. He's one of my favorite historical people to read about because every time he's mentioned, you end up learning something fascinating about him.
I recently had a discussion with someone on Lemmy who absolutely hated Benjamin Franklin solely because he owned slaves early in his life.
Nothing else mattered to him. It didn't matter that Franklin later became one of the earliest and most outspoken abolitionists in American history, serving as president of the Philadelphia Abolitionist Society for years and advocating publicly for the abolition of slavery.
I completely condemn the fact that Franklin owned slaves. Slavery is morally reprehensible and indefensible. At the same time, I don't believe that should prevent us from recognizing Franklin as one of the most fascinating and consequential figures in American history. His life demonstrates that people can hold deeply immoral beliefs, later reject them, and spend years working to undo the injustice they once accepted.
I think they'd be horrified women and black people can vote if anything. Oh and the state imposes some taxes on the rich; I bet that'd horrify them too.
Thomas Jefferson resigned as Secretary of State due to the amount of corruption in government. I guarantee they wouldn’t be surprised. I would hope they would feel shame for not writing the constitution better.
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