I'm an engineer. I'm on my phone looking at memes until someone asks me a question, then I do a thing in 5 minutes that they expected to take 5 days because people don't understand computers, then I go back to the memes.

As an engineer:

1. Receive or identify a problem.
2. Design a solution that solves or mitigated the problem.
3. Usually pay someone to make a prototype or do it ourselves
4. Test the prototype and see if it solves the problem. If no, go back to #2 until a workable solution is found
5. Get someone else to build the final thing.
6. Make sure thing works. Ship it.

This is a recursive and iterative process. Meaning you will find problems inside your solutions and need to fix them.

Eventually you finish the thing and get a new problem and do the whole game over again. It’s like a puzzle that requires absurd amounts of knowledge to play well, but anyone could try to solve the problem. That’s why good engineers are paid pretty well.

Pretty sure they drive trains

"The Engineering Method" by Mark Hammond aka the engineer guy is a great read...

...is what I would say if I actually purchased books from my wishlist.

I put the data in excel and make colorful charts to show management that their ideas are possible but expensive. Then do the same to show the cost of not purchasing maintenance equipment is in fact more costly than the necessary equipment.

We are real, I am a real person, and I will not be called fake news!!! I exist dammit.

They just do engineering things.

Source: am engineer.

Like a scientist but you get paid

Math using janky excel spreadsheets, tell drafters what we want drawings to look like, but mostly a lot of reading and writing. The secret to engineering (at least in my area) is that communication skills are just as important as technical understanding.

8 hours meeting a day, mostly

Whenever people ask me what engineering work is like, I always tell them I have no idea. I'm not an engineer; engineers drive trains, I'm just a poser.

(am computer hardware engineer)

As an engineer I can say it can be a "hurry up and wait" kind of job. Around the 20% mark of a project timeline I'm 80% finished but then have to rely on a non-responsive authority to answer me back over some obscure part of the project. After that I just nag them and the project manager about it in email to cover my ass then do fuck all until they respond. At the 95% mark they answer back and I have to hurry up to finish. It can be stressful at times but it's not bad otherwise.

they stand near an engine idk

I'm an engineer. Most of the time I solve the tricky technical problems. Other times I design some new technical thing, or I think of new ways to do something.

Half of the job is to fix issues with existing suff, the other half is to make working stuff more complicated and problematic (aka "upgrade"), so that we're still paid to do the first half.

Come on, it's right there in the name. We engine.

All you need to know is that they keep the world functioning. They apply science and architecture to a human need and fix the problem.

They're the ears for engines. Engines gotta be able to hear after all!

My Dad went to work one day and didn't come back. Guess he wasn't an engineer. All I knew was that he was a sonofabitch.

It's an elaborate money laundering scheme. Most "engineers" secretly cook meth and stuff. It's actually super easy to make like buildings and planes because God holds them up until He decides they should fall.

Most engineers don't know either bro

They keep the warp core functioning.

All I do as an engineer is piss and shit and fart

I started my engineering program at University not knowing what engineering was.

Thank goodness for that orientation session.

I interned at a mechanical engineering firm. We contracted out field workers to do the real work at construction sites, installing big hvac systems, while we coordinated between them and the general contractor. Much of engineering is about designing things using math and cad

Pretty sure they just draw complex pictures of bridges all day.