Telling lame jokes and watching others' reaction.

Cannabis. 🫣

Cannabis and being a voluminously passionate hater

Butter and peanut butter spread together on a single thick piece of warm bread. It's so delicious it almost makes up for how much of a mess it is... just like me.

Sabrina Carpenter 💅

Velveeta, specifically a Velveeta cream sauce on thick al dente pasta.

Watching capitalism collapse in real time

So I have a few.

Staying in bed of a morning until I can't bear to remain there. Usually my body craves getting up one way or another before my brain does on account of less than stellar mental health. (Which also explains why there aren't any external reasons to get up. I can serve no masters in this state.)

Sugar on my otherwise relatively sugarless cereal. It's the cheapest I can get and the laws here have taken most of the fun out of cereal anyway, so there's not much to enjoy in them at all otherwise.

Even having cereal come to that since I'm rarely up what I consider early enough to have it.

Spending all day on the computer Edit: doing what I want, except for food and bathroom visits.

Going to bed at an hour that makes sense relative to my usual morning. Using the electric blanket.

You might ask if any of these are guilty, but yes, yes they are. There is constant pressure from society to be an early riser who works for someone else from 8 till 8, six days a week, then spends whatever's left looking after house and home, and if you fail at any of that, you're judged. And I feel every bit of it from without as well as within.

Laying in bed until I get bed sores & muscle spasms & generally forget how to walk.

Hollywood fashion.

Taking solace in the fact it'll all be over one day.

at night when everyone else is asleep, I like to peel the skin off flies and eat it.

None. I don't have any shame over something I like. What the hell even is that? You can't love yourself if you disapprove of what pleases you.