they don't have to wipe

I need more fiber in my diet :\

Boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime.

12 seconds to shit?

Not near enough time.

Don't you dare tell my boss that. Don't take my time away from me!!

They don't have Wi-Fi

Tonight's news, Amazon limit on bathroom break for 12 seconds based on this study.

Given my numbers, the median must be like 0.12 seconds. If your legs aren't asleep by the time you finish, did you even poop?

Look, it's not a race, okay?

But if it were, I lost.

I always told my teachers that I'm way above average but they never believed me....

VINDICATION!!

Tell that to the dog named Oliver who lives with me...I swear that guy will take like 5 to 7 minutes some days...sheesh

My name is Constipation Georg and I live in a cave and take 12 hours to poop per day and I am an outlier and should not be counted in the averaged data

Is it longer if there is a dog staring at them the whole time?

Tell that to Ron from Accounting

TIL I am an extreme outlier.

When everything is working as it should, it doesn't take me much longer. That's a rare day, though.

Today I learned that I am well above average.

!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

I can do half by having dragon fruit last night. I swear that thing is an artifect of poop god.

i'm just putting this out there, if you take too long to poop the toilet alligator gonna eat you

12 seconds? I struggle to finish in 12 minutes.

Damn IBS.

I feel sorry for the person(s) that had to watch in order to know this.

TIL I’m an average mammal.

12 seconds to poop, sure, if you don't count all the time for bathroom clean up, a shower, laundry, etc...

I'm pretty high above average then. 😤