Arch user should be an aeropress: people can't seem to shut the hell up about how great it supposedly is

Ok, what OS do I need?

MacOS is Starbucks.

Torvalds eating raw coffee beans straight from the can

i drink instant coffee because i just dont care anymore.

chromebook user

RedHat: Any of these, but you're paying a barista to make it.

I feel under represented

Hannah Montana Linux: Red Bull

All I’m getting from this is that arch is easier than I expected and will give me a much better end result than the distros I’m used to.

As an Arch user who only makes pour-over coffee, I feel deeply attacked

all of these are valid options for making coffe.

but what distro is this?

I'm really sad there isn't a French press on here. That's what I use and I was hoping to discover what my coffee distro is :-(

Couldn't be more wrong for me, lol

Also, I feel like instant coffee should be represented - it's one of the most common preparation methods and it's easy to dunk on.

GNU Guix, and NixOS, respectively

Y'all acting like 10 years is a long time... I expect that to be the minimum out of any capital expense for a "durable" good.

Fedora user made this...

Which distro uses a French press?

Debian user here. This is scary accurate.

Fedora should be French press but yeah lol

French press? ? ? ❓

I use Ubuntu and that is literally the coffee machine I use... Except I don't use the actual cups, I'm basically only using it as a source of hot water, and instead I use different cups that are reusable, and just are there to hold the coffee grounds. And similarly, I got flathub on Ubuntu, installed shit to get appimages working, and accidentally uninstalled gnome at one point, which took me an hour to fix mostly because it just stopped at a terminal I couldn't input anything on, so I had to figure out that I could open up a new one that would actually let me log in and reinstall gnome.

Slackware: Start by planting your own coffee plants...

If you've used an espresso machine you will know that every single small change, even new fresh beans, fucks up the setup and you have to dial everything again, so I think it fits better with another one. I use arch btw.

Turkish coffee pot: works with literally any source of heat if you know what you're doing.

NetBSD.

I feel like arch is the espresso machine and Gentoo is a pile of espresso machine parts.

What distro would a moka pot be?