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[–] 78 points 1 year ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

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  • [–] 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

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    [–] 34 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
    do do dooo do
    Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
    whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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    [–] 33 points 1 year ago

    The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

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  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

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  • Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

    Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    So it's correctly labeled as a factoid then

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  • [+] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    What about the holy hand grenade?

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

    Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

    Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    "One" hit

    "Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"

    ...

    ...

    "What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

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    [–] 13 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

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    [–] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

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    [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    "I fear the Pope has died!"

    "You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

    *wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

    "OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

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    [–] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    +5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago
    [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Which side do they hit him with?

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    The papal tappy taps

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    That is some Guilliman level artifact

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