The Proud Boys have an initiation ritual where new members are beaten by the group until they can recite the names of five different breakfast cereals.
Obviously this frat-boy shit is dumb, but if you had to figure out if someone was a real American or a spy, this would be an excellent way to do it.
Like if someone said "I eat musli" or "I like grape nuts" you could go ahead and shoot the spy.
See I have to believe at least some of this shit was because the leader of that group was a federal informant. This is the kind of thing the FBI agents in Ms Congeniality would think is funny.
Coco Pops, Special K, Bran Flakes, Cornflakes, err...
Lucky Charms. Phew.
Also, what?
Can I "join" and not name any cereals just to beat the fuck out of a bunch of proud boys?
And...
Uh...
Hmm....
The uh...
The one with the umm...
Errr...
I was raised in peak cereal advertising. I can spout off like 10 based on mascots alone.
I know Kellogg's is trying to fix their image since more people became aware of the anti-masturbation thing but this is not a good sponsorship deal to do that
Captain Crunch
Peanut Butter Crunch
Crunchberries
Oops All Berries
...crap
Breakfast cereals? That's pathetically weird.
*Froot Loops
Dammit I'm going to be thinking about this for ages, is this to prove you were lower middle class? Like to make sure they were raised on the same "Saturday morning cartoon" upbringing? To see if they only name "Great Value" brand alternatives? To make sure they weren't raised on croissants?
I know I'm giving the Proud Boys far too much credit, but I really thought they only check that you get an erection while reciting the pledge of allegiance.
ProNutro, Weetbix, Maltabella, Jungle Oats, Otees.
Five cereals that Proud Boys have probably never heard of.
What
What are they doing to Old black man?
He’s just trying to nap
That's weird
*Froot Loops
King Vitamin
Grins Smiles Giggles and Laughs
Frosted Rice
Total Raisins
I had to look this one up. Why the Proud Boys Initiation Ritual Involves Cereal
I would say these are a bunch of frat boys who peaked in college but I think they are just cosplaying what they think being in a frat would be like.
Yosef Ozia, a member of the Southern Proud Boys chapter who’s based in Atlanta, Georgia, told Extra Crispy that this all stemmed from a fart joke. Yep, a fart joke. McInnes introduced this step based on a rule his buddies had in the past: if someone farted, they’d get beat on until they could list five kinds of breakfast cereal. “It doesn’t mean anything,” Ozia said. “[Initiation] is mostly a joke. A lot of people take it seriously, and they shouldn’t really.”
all 45 comments